When your parents come in, quickly switch over to your regular voice so you don’t get caught.
If you have to do chores together, keep commenting about how he’s slow, or can’t keep up with you because you’re older. Assign him chores, even if it’s not your job to do chore-assignments. Call him a baby any time he asks you for help, or doesn’t understand something. Always talk about how he’s too small, too short, or not old enough to know something.
Tell your brother avocados are actually dinosaur eggs. And they’re poisonous. Tell your brother he wasn’t actually born, your parents grew him in a bucket from catfish heads. Tell your brother that you have the power to read minds. He’s thinking, “No you don’t. " Tell your brother that the dog speaks when he’s not around. And says it wants to eat him. Tell your brother Star Wars is a documentary. It really happened. Tell your brother when he turns whatever age he turns next, his nipples will fall off, then grow back.
Nuclear warfare: Dump a glass of water on his bed, so it looks like he peed it the night before. Wait until his friends come over and let them find it. Be really careful about doing this. If you’re a cool older kid, you should probably have better things to do than messing around with your younger brother in front of his friends. You might just look like a loser doing this.
Don’t let him do stuff that you’re doing. If you’re going to watch a movie, say he can’t, because it’s only for older kids. Freeze him out of whatever you’re doing.
Only use these methods to get back at your brother for doing something that’s mean. Don’t make this a regular habit.
Wait until he starts getting up to tell your parents, then leave really quickly and go back to your room. If they ask you about it, say, “He’s making it up. " Do something weird in his room while he’s out, like pull out all his clothes and put them in a pile, or take sticky notes and label everything. Put one on the window that says, “Window. " Put one on the computer that says, “Computer. " Find his change jar and label it “143 cents. " He’ll be so confused. Play innocent. If he tries to beat you up, or chases you out, tell your parents you just tried to ask him a question and he started hitting you.
Make sure your parents are in another room, so you can stop in enough time before you get into trouble.
Be careful not to leave incriminating evidence in your room, if you are to do this. Be smart, don’t hide stuff under your pillow. If its found, you can always play ignorant and no one will be able to prove it was you. You can also come clean when your brother is looking. Say, “Oh, you need your phone? I know where it is. Give me a ride to the comic book store and I’ll tell you. "
If you don’t know where the router is, ask your parents to show you, because you’re curious. Don’t let on that you want to mess with it. Just say, “How does the Internet work? Can you show me?” They’ll be impressed.
Try to swipe his phone. Delete contacts[5] X Research source on his phone, or change the names of people. Find his best friend and change it to “Stupid McButtsniffer. " Try to log into his Facebook and make embarrassing posts, or change his pictures, or comment on other people’s stuff with dumb comments.
If he has an alarm, reset it for like two hours earlier than he would normally wake up. Nobody should have to wake up at 4 am. Except your older brother.
Instead of annoying an older brother, try to learn as much as you can from him. Older siblings usually know a lot more about their younger siblings. Instead of annoying him, try to understand why he does what he does.
