Try saying what you immediately noticed and then transition into talking about personality: “What I first noticed about you were your eyes, but what I’ve come to like about you is your great sense of humor. I like how you make me laugh. " When you compliment your partner’s appearance, don’t talk about body parts, like the size of their “assets. " Instead, say, “You look beautiful in that dress. " or “You look handsome in that suit. " Compliment the style choices they make. Avoid using crude words at all times. No slang for body parts. It’s not funny, and it’s not complimentary.
“I like the way you handle tough situations and stay cool. " “I like the way you care about animals and are light-hearted. " “I like how passionate you are for music. " “I like how you’re a great sister/sibling and a great daughter/child to your family. " “I like how you’re always there for people who need help. "
“I like how you care about the environment and your footprint in the world. " “I like that you’re a good student and you’re committed to getting into a good college. " “I like that you’re well-read and knowledgeable about many different things. " “I like that you’re involved in politics and that you care about making a difference. "
“I like how hard you work. I have a lot of respect for that. " “This pie you made is killer. I love how talented you are at baking. " “I like your sense of humor. It’s so easy to hang out, because you’re always cracking me up. " “I love all your hobbies. You’re so talented and use your free time so wisely. "
“I like how much I like you. I’m crazy about you. " “I like how much you turn me on. " “I like how you make me laugh. " “I like how we can spend time doing nothing together, and it’s still exciting. "
Instead of saying, “I like your body,” say, “I like the way you walk and the way you move. When we’re walking through the park and it gets breezy, I like the way you tuck your hair back and keep walking while you do it. " Instead of saying, “I like your personality,” say, “I like when I can tell you’re getting annoyed with something someone says and you get all fidgety and quiet and shoot me a look. I feel like we’re really close when you do that. " Instead of saying, “I like your sense of humor,” say something funny with your partner to share in that sense of humor. Say something like, “I like the way you eat peanut butter straight out of the jar when you think no one is looking. It really turns me on,” or something else that will make them laugh.
When’s the right time for a compliment? Anytime. If conversation quiets down some and you can’t think of much to say, a good compliment will always be appreciated. If you only ever compliment someone as an apology, then you need to make a habit to be more emotionally present in your relationship. Think about partner’s feelings more often.
Good rule of thumb? Wait until it seems like your partner might need it, but then offer one more every now and then just because.
Text compliments in the middle of the day. Leave little notes with compliments in your partner’s locker, or at home on the fridge. If you’re on the computer, open up a chat window with a random reminder throughout the day. It’ll mean a lot.
