Watch for changes in your friendship. Does your friend act differently around you? Maybe they laugh more at your jokes or seem shyer. Significant changes in their behavior could mean they’ve developed feelings for you, especially if they seem nervous or excited. If you’re bad at reading the signs, ask a mutual friend! Have a conversation about your best friend with them. Casually ask if they know whether your friend likes anyone. Sometimes a second opinion offers an excellent perspective. Unless you ask them, you can’t know one way or the other. Don’t assume you know for sure until you have talked to them.
Prepare for the various ways they might respond. What will you do if they say they like you? What if they don’t? What if they refuse to respond? You don’t have to be a mind reader, but work through multiple outcomes.
No matter what happens, you might feel relief after. Even if your worst-case scenario happens, you’ll know their answer for sure. Only you can decide whether the risk is worth it. Thinking about the worst-case scenario can be helpful, but don’t approach the conversation with an all-or-nothing attitude. Even if they don’t want to be more than friends, you can still stay friends with them. [3] X Expert Source Eddy BallerDating Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
Ask them out in person if you can. While asking through a text or phone call can seem comfortable, you’ll appear more sincere in person. Where is just as important as when. Find a place that is quiet and secluded from other people. You’ll both want to focus on the conversation and not those around you. If you see your friend at a loud or crowded place, walk with them to somewhere you can be alone before you ask. Avoid asking them in front of their friends. Your friend may not feel ready to share their feelings with others and might not tell the truth.
For example, you could say, “Hey, Emma, are you busy? I have a quick question for you. Could we chat for a second?”
Don’t make a big deal when you steer towards the heart of the conversation. If you’re visibly nervous, your best friend will also feel uneasy. Avoid putting unnecessary pressure on them.
In some cases, you may not feel attracted to your best friend and have other reasons for asking. In this case, do not lie as a means of getting information. Instead, tell them how meaningful your friendship is. You might say, for example, “Tyler, I care about you a lot. Your friendship means so much to me. I’m glad we’ve gotten to know each other and that we spend so much time together. "
Let them know that you care about them unconditionally. They may worry that if they do not like you, you will abandon them. Tell them you are here for them, no matter what. You could say something like, “Riley, before I ask you this question, I want you to know that I care about you no matter what. Lately, I’ve noticed that our relationship has changed a little. I’ve wondered if you might like me more than a friend. Am I right in thinking this?”
Active listening shows your friend that you really do care about them. [5] X Research source Give them the courtesy to speak because you love them, even if their answer is disappointing.
After they answer, you may feel overwhelmed if they say no. Remember to practice beforehand to avoid freezing.
After you ask, you may feel uncomfortable around them. It might take time for both of you to process this conversation. Give them time and space alone, if needed. Sometimes asking can change the relationship in unintended ways. Romantic feelings are tricky, and your relationship might not be what it was before again. Prepare yourself beforehand, and know it’s a risk you must take.
