She might say, “Mom and Dad, can Jared come over for dinner Wednesday night? He’d really like to get to know you guys better and talk to you about us going on a date. " This will give her parents some time to think about this so you don’t spring a complete surprise on them. If you have already spent some time at her house and established yourself as a respectful and trustworthy person, her parents will likely be more open to the suggestion. Understand that going in without her parents having any prior knowledge of you is going to be difficult — no matter how polite you are or how well you dress, you will still be a stranger.
Make sure you shower, or at least clean up, beforehand. You want to look as presentable as possible.
If you have met them before, say something like, “Hi, Mr. and Ms. Johnson. It’s really nice to see you again. Thank you for having me for dinner. " If this is your first time meeting you, you could say, “Hi, Mr. and Mr. Johnson. I’m Josh Green. It’s nice to meet you. ” Use a firm, confident handshake, and make eye contact as you say hello. Stand up straight and tall. [4] X Research source
They will likely ask about your family and friends, goals, and interests. Mention anything that supports your claim that you are trustworthy and responsible — volunteer work, a job, and extracurricular activities can help vouch for your character. You could say something like, “Right now I’m working as a lifeguard on the weekends and am busy with the swimming team during the week. I’m going to start teaching swimming lessons next month at the park district. ”
Questions you can ask her parents include things like, “How long have you lived here?” or, “Did you grow up in this area?” You could also look for things you may have in common. For example, “Mr. Johnson, did you coach softball with my dad a few years ago?” Make sure the conversation is a two-way street. Neither party should be doing all of the talking or asking all of the questions. Don’t get distracted by your phone during your conversation. Looking at your phone while someone else is talking can be seen as extremely rude. Silence it, and keep it in your pocket as you are talking to her parents. [7] X Research source
If they ask you about a poor past decision, for example, make sure you tell them what you have learned from it, and how you are different now. For example, you could say, “Yes, I was one of the kids who got suspended last year for the cafeteria prank. I feel really embarrassed about that now because I know how much extra work we made for the janitors. We sent them an apology card. ”
One way to show that you are a positive influence is to go over to the girl’s house to study. Stay focused on studying to prove that you are a mature and responsible person.
You could say, “Lucia told me that she knew how important it was that you meet people who wanted to go out with her. So I wanted to respect her and her family by coming here to ask your permission to take her on a date. ” Acknowledge that the decision is also their daughter’s. You could say, “I wanted to get your permission to go on a date with your daughter, but I also understand that it’s up to her, too. If she’s not interested anymore, I understand. ”
You could say, “Ann and I were lab partners last semester and we became friends. She is fun to talk to. I think we bonded over our love of science fiction movies. ” Do not say anything about her physical attributes. Only talk about her personality. Telling her parents that you think their daughter is hot will probably get you kicked out of the house fast!
You could say, “I really would like to get to know your daughter better, and I think she feels the same way about me. Do we have your permission to go out on a date?” You could say, “I was thinking about taking Emily to the school play next week, then going out for dessert afterward. We’d probably be home by 9:30. Would that be okay?” If they seem reluctant to let you go on a one-on-one date, you could ask if it would be okay to go on a group date with the daughter. Make sure they know the other people in the group. You could say, “A few of us in my youth group are going out to dinner next week. I think you know Laura and Maya? We’d all like to have Emily join us. ”
They may say they think their daughter is too young to date. You could ask, “Would it be okay if we went out together in a group?” They may say you could go out together as long as you are not out too late. Be agreeable and say, “No problem. I have a 10 o’clock curfew. Does that work for you, or does she need to be home earlier?” If this is their first time meeting you, they may say they’d like to get to know you better. You might say, “We have a test coming up next week. Maybe I could come over Sunday afternoon and we could study here?” If they say no to everything, you could ask, “Do you think we could talk about this again in a few months?” Accept that you may need to wait a little bit to date, but you may still have other ways to see their daughter in a school, extracurricular, or social setting.
Be at the location you told her parents you’d be going. If you told them you are going to see a movie, be at the movie theater watching the movie you said you were going to see at that particular time. Don’t go to another movie or be somewhere else entirely. If her parents find out you are lying about your whereabouts, that will likely put a stop to your relationship. Be on time. Bring her home when you say you are going to. If you absolutely can’t avoid being late (for example, you’re caught in an unexpected traffic jam), let the parents know as soon as possible. Then try to avoid circumstances that would cause you to be late again, such as going somewhere within walking distance rather than driving. Have safe and reliable transportation. Let her parents know how you are getting there and back. If they are not comfortable with you driving, for example, propose alternatives without argument.
You could ask your parents to talk to her parents. Be brave and ask your own parents if her parents could call them with any questions about your character. If your home life isn’t great and don’t think your parents could speak well of your character, you could ask another trusted adult in your life to talk to her parents if necessary.
If the girl you like wants to sneak around, don’t go along with it. Ask her to be honest with her parents and try to talk to them. You could say, “Look, I really like you, but I want to respect your parents’ wishes. Do you think you could try talking to them again?”
Offer to come over to her house and study for tests with her. Do your work in a room in the house where her parents can keep an eye on you.
