For example, if you’re taking a friend to the airport, some important questions you might ask include, “What time does your flight leave?” “How early would you like to get to the airport?” and “Where do you need to be dropped off?” As another example, if you’re going into an interview, you might ask, “What is the company culture like?” “Where do you see the company in 5 years?” and “What duties can I expect that aren’t in the job description?” When you’re actually talking to the person, it’s okay to follow the flow of the conversation into other topics, but always try to steer it back to the talking points you wrote down.

For example, asking “How did that meeting make you feel?” can refer to anything that happened in the meeting. A better question would be something like, “How did you feel after presenting to the district manager during the meeting?” As another example, instead of asking, “What inspired your design?” you might try asking, “What inspired you to use the color blue throughout your work?”

“How did the budget changes affect your daily workload?” “Why did you choose this font for the project?” “What were the most memorable moments from the evening?”

“Were you the lead designer on this project?” “When did you upload the files?” “Who were you with when the accident happened?”

For example, you may start with questions like, “How did you get started at the company?” or “What are you most excited to do today?”

For example, if you’re asking about someone’s night, you might start with the question, “Where did you end up going last night?” If the person says they went out to a restaurant with friends, you might ask, “Who did you end up going with?” If they mention someone you don’t know, you could then ask, “Where do you know them from?” As another example, if you could start with, “How did you contribute to the project?” Once they answer, you might ask, “What was the biggest challenge you had?” After that, you could ask, “What did you do to overcome the challenge and complete your task?”

For example, if you’re asking about why someone was let go from work, you might start with questions like, “How did you like your job?” or “What did you do in your old position?” After you talk for a little while, you can ask “What did your boss say when you were let go?” If the person still doesn’t feel comfortable talking about the subject, respect their privacy. Some studies have shown that some people are more likely to open up if you start with the tough questions so you can get them out of the way.

Try repeating back what the person told you to confirm that you’ve understood it. This is also a great way to show the other person you were listening and care about what they said.

For example, asking, “What can we do to resolve this budgeting issue and how will it affect our customers?” could lead to a lot of talking points and be confusing. Instead, you might try asking, “What solutions have you tried for fixing the budget?” followed by “How does this solution affect our customers?”

For example, rather than asking, “What was the importance of adding that slide to the presentation?” you might instead ask, “What were you trying to cover on that last slide?” As another example, instead of asking, “What emotions were you feeling during the climax of the game?” you may ask, “How did you feel during the final seconds?” Use neutral language as well so you don’t sway their answer. For example, asking something like, “How much did you enjoy that party?” assumes the person already had fun. Try asking, “How did you feel about the party?”

Try waiting a few seconds after they finish to speak up so you have more time to process what they said. [15] X Research source