If they very bluntly stated why they didn’t want to go out with you, like “I’m not interested in you for this reason” or “I’m going through something difficult and don’t need the stress of dating,” then you don’t want to irritate them by asking for more explanation. People are often caught off-guard when asked out, so a lot of times they come up with an answer on the spot that may not be the complete truth. Calmly approach your crush and ask them if they wouldn’t mind grabbing coffee (not as a date) because you wanted to talk through some things with them. Then, when you are together, ask if there was a specific reason they didn’t want to go out with you or if your approach was what turned them off. Do not then proceed to ask them out again, but thank them for giving you some insight and be understanding and be patient.
If you asked out someone you met once at a party or on a night out, this doesn’t necessarily apply to you, but if you asked out a good friend it’s possible that they don’t want to ruin your relationship or there’s something else going on in their life that’s keeping them from jumping into something new. It’s also possible that at this point they just aren’t attracted to you, which in that case it just takes time and patience before you can ask them out again.
In some cases, people do need space, and after they learn that you are interested in them, they feel awkward and don’t want to be around you all the time. Feel out the situation to see if it’s best if you step back for a while or if you should be as present as you were before. It is important, though, that you don’t show your crush you were incredibly hurt or that the rejection made you insecure. Most people don’t find insecurity attractive, so continue to act confident.
If you weren’t friends before, then becoming friends may be the key to gaining a date with your crush. It’s possible that they didn’t feel comfortable going out with someone they didn’t know, so helping them get to know you could better your chances when you ask them out again. If you were friends before, you don’t want to just go right back to where you were before in the friend zone. That may lead your crush to think that you have accepted there is no future between the two of you, and your crush may stop considering the possibility that you still like them. It’s best to develop a friendship again but to show that you are interested in other things too, then they won’t feel awkward around you.
Don’t turn all your attention on someone else if you want your crush to know you are still interested in them. This may lead them to feel confused or believe that you have moved on completely.
Be cool when you ask your crush out again – don’t seem desperate or like all you have been thinking about is asking them out again. Play it up like you’d love to treat them to lunch or coffee (or whatever it is you want to do) and make it seem somewhat casual. Or maybe do something fun like going to a concert, something that could also be done with a friend. Your crush may be more willing to go on a date like this if they feel you aren’t trying to jump into something serious. [8] X Research source Consider texting your crush to take some of the pressure off an in-person ask and give them time to think. [9] X Expert Source Suzanna MathewsDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 18 August 2021. If you did all this and were turned down again, it unfortunately may be a sign that you need to move on. Someone may reject you once without really thinking about it, but if they reject you a second time it means they had some time to think about it and still aren’t interested. Respect their decision and understand that it obviously wasn’t meant to be. [10] X Research source
