Being active in your church can help you become closer to God, and it also provides you with the opportunity to be mentored by older Christians who’ve been in your shoes before. As your relationship with God develops, you might also find yourself feeling led to avoid situations where you might be tempted to sin, like a party where you know there will be drinking, or doing something you’ll have to lie to your parents about.
If you do this, over time, you’ll build a well-respected reputation that will show a girl that she can trust you to do your part in providing for a household.
For instance, you might read and reflect on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which says: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "
Remember, confidence is a good thing, but arrogance isn’t. When you’re around a girl you like, try to listen to her more than you talk about yourself so you don’t seem self-absorbed.
If you’re not sure you’re ready for that level of commitment, be very clear about that from the start, but don’t be surprised if she isn’t interested in dating casually.
The way God speaks is unique for each person, but listen to your heart, pray, and read your Bible for insight into learning God’s direction for you.
If you only see her at church on Sundays, for example, you might say something like, “Hey Hannah, how was your week?” Try to sit or stand near her when you get the chance so you’ll have more opportunities to talk. Over time, build up to longer conversations by asking her about her interests, hobbies, and friends. Show the girl that you are genuinely interested in what she loves and want to learn more about it. This will make her feel that you care about her.
For instance, if she makes eye contact with you when you’re talking, or if she always smiles or blushes when she sees you, she might be interested. She might also play with her hair, lean toward you when you’re talking, or soften her expression around you if she likes you. If she doesn’t seem interested, she may not be the girl God has chosen for you. However, she may just not know you well enough. Keep making efforts to chat with her when you cross paths until you have a better idea of how she feels about you.
For example, you might say something like, “Hey Kyla, I heard some of the kids from the youth group are going to a praise concert next weekend, and I was thinking of going. Do you want to come with me?” It’s up to you whether you want to call this a date. If you want to take a little more time to get to know each other, it’s okay to go as just friends. However, if you really like her and you want her to know it, you can tell her that, too. If you’re ready to let her know how you feel about her, you might say, “Some of my friends are meeting for pizza tomorrow night. Do you want to go as my date?”
When you’re first getting to know a girl, for example, you might just tell her that you love to fish. As you get closer, though, you might reveal that your grandpa took you fishing when you were young, and now it’s a way for you to remember him.
For instance, you might say, “Rebecca, I love how true you are to your faith and the way you genuinely care about everyone. I’d really love to date you. Will you be my girlfriend?” If you’re shy, try asking her through a text message or in a note.
You might say something like, “Okay, I understand. I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. I just think you’re really special, and I hope we can still be friends. " Then, politely excuse yourself. No matter what, be proud of yourself! Asking someone out is really hard, and you should feel good that you were brave enough to do it.
