If they ask to come over after work, say something like, “That would be fun. Do you want to stay over this time?” There’s always a chance the person will decline. This may be a sign to you that it’s time to move on. If someone is unwilling to spend a night with you, they may be more interested in an occasional booty call than a real relationship.
For example, say you get a text late at night asking if you want to come over. Respond with something like, “I’d rather do something another time. Are you free for lunch or dinner this week?” This shows the person you’re not interested in just being a booty call and would rather get to know them. If the person does not respond to the text, they may not be interested in a real relationship. While it can hurt to have someone disengage with you, you’ll be free to find someone interested in a real relationship.
For example, imagine you’ve made it clear you don’t want to be the booty call but they keep calling and texting late at night. Say, “I’ve made it really clear this isn’t the kind of relationship I want and I feel like you keep violating my boundaries. I’m not okay with this. "
If someone texts you late at night, for example, they may just be hoping for sex. If you don’t appreciate these kinds of texts, respond with something like, “Hey, please don’t text me this late. If you want to hang out, we can go out on a date earlier in the day. " If you’d rather get to know them better before having sex and they suggest going back to their place after a date, clarify your boundaries. Say something like, “I’d rather get to know you a little bit more before we get too physical. "
If you’re just the booty call, the person may prefer to stay in and hang out rather than take you out on dates. If the person texts you something like, “Want to come over and hang out tonight?” respond by telling them what you’d prefer. For example, “That sounds fun, but I’d rather go out tonight. Want to see a movie?”
For example, send a text saying something like, “Hey, are you free this Friday? I would love to get dinner with you around 5. "
For example, say something like, “We’ve been seeing each other quite a bit lately, so I thought I’d go ahead and ask. What are you looking for out of a relationship?” Remember that it’s better to know. You don’t want to waste your time on someone who’s not on your wavelength.
You can keep things simple when breaking things off. Say something like, “I think we want different things, so it’s clear we should see other people. "
