Say, for example, you said your opinion only to get contradicted by an acquaintance. You feel flushed and overwhelmed. Is it because you’re embarrassed to be wrong, or angry with your acquaintance’s choice of words? Taking time to determine exactly why you felt overwhelmed is an important first step to beating that feeling in the future.
If your role is that you’ve experienced emotional trauma in your past related to those issues, consider counseling if your coping methods have proved ineffective so far for you. [2] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
It’s okay to be flawed. Many people feel pressure to be “perfect,” which leads them to harmfully internalize the slightest criticism. Feeling the need to be perfect can stunt our communication with everyone around us. [3] X Research source
Often, the issues that get us worked up are small ones, piled up high enough to feel huge and important when they aren’t. Every problem or stressor can always be broken down into components you can handle.
Dealing with the same aggravating issue over time can make you reach a point where the smallest version of the problem elicits a huge, seemingly disproportionate response. Don’t let the small things gnaw away at you. Bring them out into the open so they don’t build up.
“Getting some fresh air” or “going to the bathroom” are both time-tested excuses. Point to your phone screen and pretend like you need to go take a call.
Hide, mute, or block specific users on social media who work you up (or get you down). Speak honestly with your friends and loved ones about the things that bother you. Use your coping techniques, and approach the situation understanding that this may be sensitive for them, too.
Avoidance isn’t a useful strategy. It typically causes all the negative emotion and anxiety stemming from the situation to grow only larger in your mind. [5] X Research source A distinction should be made between avoiding a problem and distancing yourself from one. Avoiding is a passive strategy, while distancing is an active choice to remove a problem from your life.
What advice would you give a friend? Approaching your issue as a caring—but unaffected—person helping their friend could shed new light for you. You’re not alone if you feel like a burden when you’re offloading yourself onto others, but self-pity and constant apologies aren’t super helpful. If you ever feel like a burden, just make you’re there for your friends or loved ones, when they need it, too. Reach out to multiple people to keep from having all of the emotional workload fall on one person, especially if that one person is a significant other.
