You may know your parents will find out about your grades soon. You may be getting a progress report, for example, or parent-teacher conferences may be coming up. If this is the case, give your parents a warning ahead of time. Say something like, “Mom, Dad, I wanted to be honest with you. I’m really struggling in algebra and my semester grade isn’t what it should be. " When telling your parents about your grades, pick a good time to talk. Choose a time when your parents are free and there are no external time constraints. A Wednesday night when everyone’s done with work and school, for example, is a great time to bring up the issue of your grades. [3] X Research source Honesty is the best policy here. Tell your parents that you’re struggling in a certain subject. If you know your exact grade, tell them. Do not try to obscure the truth. For example, if you’re getting a D in chemistry, do not say, “My chemistry grade is kind of on the low side. " Instead, say something like, “I’m getting a D in chemistry and I thought I should let you know. "
If you’re genuinely struggling, say so. Also, highlight how you did genuinely try in a course. For example, you may simply not be doing well in algebra. Point out how often you study and how you always do your homework. Your parents will see you’re trying, and may respond by trying to get you a tutor rather than punishing you. If you slipped up, however, admit it outright. Ultimately, your parents want to see you learn from your mistakes so you do not repeat them. If your D on a test is because you stayed up too late playing video games, admit this and promise to do better in the future. If you’ve already learned your lesson, your parents may not feel the need to punish you. [4] X Research source
Be as mature about things as you can. A little flattery can also help. For example, say something like, “I know I screwed up, and you and Mom raised me better. You guys are super responsible. Maybe you can teach me how to do better. " Offer to go along with whatever your parents want in the future. For example, your parents may request that you show them your homework when you finish it. They also may want to meet with your teacher regularly. While these regulations may feel stressful or embarrassing, go along with them. If you’re cooperative about fixing the problem, you’ll avoid getting punished.
Physical abuse involves a parent beating, kicking, hitting, or otherwise hurting you. Your parents may feel physical abuse is a normal or appropriate response to what they perceive as bad behavior. They may believe in a “tough love” route to discipline. Understand that physical violence is never okay. It is not normal and it is not something all parents do. If you are being physically harmed, this constitutes abuse. [7] X Research source Abuse can also be verbal or emotional. All parents lose their tempter at some point, and may yell on occasion if frustrated. However, if yelling becomes very loud, and is coupled by foul language, name calling, or threats, this is emotional abuse. Your parent, for example, may threaten to kick you out or abandon you when you present a poor report card. Emotional abuse is not normal and can be very damaging to your self-image. [8] X Research source
Start keeping your parents up-to-date on your grades. Show them your graded assignments, tests, and quizzes. If you get regular progress reports, show these reports to your parents without prompting. [9] X Research source Keep your parents up-to-date on the progress you’ve made. Do not just say you’ll talk to your teacher. Actually talk to him or her and, after the conversation has occurred, report back to your parents. Tell them what your teacher said and any suggestion he or she gave for improvement.
A lot of your plan depends on why your grades were low. If you were genuinely struggling, a tutor may help. You also may want to ask your teacher for help on an assignment. If you slipped up due to irresponsibility, you can take steps to be a better student. Promise your parents you’ll always do your homework after school. Set a bedtime for yourself and stick to it. Write down assignments ahead of time so you do not forget them.
Depression is a common problem in teenagers that can affect grades. If you’ve been feeling low lately, suffering mood swings, are having thoughts of death or suicide, and have lost interest in certain activities, you may be experiencing depression. Talking to a therapist to address the issue can help. Let your parents know if you’re worried you may be depressed. [10] X Research source Attention Deficit Disorder can also cause a slip in your grades. ADD is marked by irritability, an inability to concentrate, and poor decision-making skills. If you think you may have ADD, talk to your parents about getting diagnosed so you can get the treatment you need to get back on track in school. [11] X Research source If you’re having any personal problems, such as getting bullied in school, you should also let your parents know about this. This can also affect study habits.
A trusted adult can be another relative, like a grandparent, aunt, or uncle. You can also talk to your family doctor, if you get the opportunity to speak to the doctor alone. A teacher or guidance counselor at your school can also help. [12] X Research source In the event you cannot think of anyone to talk to yourself, you can contact Childhelp. This is a non-profit agency dedicated to helping children in abusive situations. You can call at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). If you’re not comfortable calling in your home, you can ask to use a friend’s phone or even try to find a pay phone. [13] X Research source
Improve your organizational skills. Use a weekly planner or calendar to keep track of upcoming tests and quizzes. Try to have different binders or folders for notes for your various classes. [14] X Trustworthy Source Understood Nonprofit organization dedicated to resources and support to people with thinking differences, such as ADHD or dyslexia Go to source Study in a location free of distractions, like a coffee shop or library. Turn off your cellphone and other electronics before studying. Bring all the materials you need with you when you go to study. [15] X Trustworthy Source Understood Nonprofit organization dedicated to resources and support to people with thinking differences, such as ADHD or dyslexia Go to source Study in short intervals. Trying to cram too much in one session can be daunting. Study in 40 to 50 minute blocks, taking 5 to 10 minute breaks in-between.
You can also write down homework assignments in your calendar or planner to make sure you remember to do them on time.
How things will unfold after abuse is reported depends on your situation. You may be temporarily placed in a foster home or have to stay with relatives. Your parents may be required to attend counseling to work through certain issues. The experience of reporting abuse is very stressful. However, remember that abusive situations are not sustainable longterm. It’s necessary for you and your parents to get professional help in the event abuse is occurring. [17] X Research source
