Recognize that the word “retarded” is considered hate speech, and can be alienating and frightening to disabled people.
The historical context of the word is important to know. People with disabilities have been treated poorly, discriminated against, abused, and neglected in the past and even today. Just changing the way you speak and avoiding using the term can make a difference for people with disabilities today and in the future.
If something is a bad idea, you can use words such as dense, useless, obtuse, pathetic, or vapid. Don’t forget terms like jackass or bonehead. Or make up snappy new insults. Swearing may be okay, but might make you look less impressive. If someone or something angers you, use words like contemptible, enraging, evil, infuriating, horrible, irrational, rage-inducing. If someone or something is disgusting, try using nasty, gross, foul, nauseating, skeevy, repellent, repulsive, vomitous or terrible instead.
If a person does something they shouldn’t do, you can say, “What you did didn’t even make sense!” or “That was careless/foolish!”. “Where’s your head?!” “What the hell were you thinking?” Or from baseball, “That was a bonehead play. " If a person does something that angers you, you can say, “You’re unbelievable!” or “You make me so furious!”. “He makes me so mad I could explode!” “That just galls me. " If someone does something that irritates you, tell them “That is so annoying/irritating/immature”. “You have no idea how ridiculous you look. " “You’re acting like a jackass. " “Don’t be a twit. " If someone does something dense or is not listening to reason or logic, try saying “You’re being ignorant” or “That is irrational” or “Your idea is ridiculous”. “You’re not using your head. " “There is so much wrong with that idea I don’t even know where to start. "
Even if you don’t think you are in the presence of someone with a disability, someone near you may have an invisible disability, or know someone with a disability. They will appreciate your sincerity and apology.
Make yourself accountable. When you slip up, others will catch on and remind you that you used the word. It will also challenge you not to use the word because you won’t want to break your pledge and look like a bad example to others. Raise awareness of the dangers of using the r-word. Some people may have never thought the r-word was offensive. By pledging publicly, you are raising awareness of the problem and challenging others to rethink their use of the word. Generate discourse. People may tell you that using the r-word is “no big deal”. This is a great opportunity for you to educate others about why the r-word is not cool and that it does matter when you use hurtful and offensive language.
Don’t criticize someone for looking or acting unusual (e. g. stimming, having an unusual face, or being a little hyper). These quirks are part of who they are, and should be respected just as much as your love of computers or the shape of your chin. Stop calling bad things “stupid” or “dumb. " People who have intellectual disabilities don’t deserve that comparison. (And maybe they hate Nickelback just as much as you do. ) Recognize that each person has their own worth. A dyslexic person might be a ridiculously hard worker, while your friend with Down Syndrome is the kindest person you know. Some strengths are even tied directly to disability, such as the spacial perception strengths associated with autism.
Get to know them first. Many people with disabilities want to be included. Do not treat them like they are “special” by using baby talk or talking about them like they aren’t there. Instead, approach someone with a disability like you would with anyone else. Communicate with them. Some people with intellectual disabilities understand better if you slow your speech down a little. Some are better at communicating in other ways such as with facial expressions, hand gestures, or writing. Learn more about their disability, either through your own research or through others. By having a better understanding of someone’s disabilities, you can better communicate with others and change the way you think about people with disabilities.
Speak to the person normally and directly. Avoid using baby talk or addressing someone next to them. In most cases, if alternative ways need to be used to communicate, the person or someone else will inform you. Don’t assume every physically disabled person needs help. You may want to hold the door open for them, carry their bags, or help them pick up stuff that has fallen. However, you may be accidentally getting in their way, or making them feel like they are different from everyone else. Offer help first before diving in by simply asking them, “Can I help you with that?”
Some people may not be comfortable to talk to you about their disability. Get to know the person a little bit, and then you might be able to ask them about their disability. For example, you can say, “I’m curious about your using a wheelchair. Are you comfortable talking about it, or would you prefer not to?” Not all terms will be accepted by every person who has that disability. This person may tell you it’s okay to use a particular term around them but it doesn’t necessarily mean you can use it for every other person that has the same disability.
Different situations and places have different accepted terms to describe disabilities. Identity-first language is more common in the UK and the Autistic, Deaf, and Blind communities. [3] X Trustworthy Source Austistic Self Advocacy Network Nonprofit organization run by and for individuals on the autism spectrum that empowers autistic people through education and public advocacy Go to source This means you would use the term “disabled person” compared to “person with a disability” which is person-first language. Always ask about this. Person-first language is generally preferred by people with other intellectual and developmental disabilities and in the U. S. When you’re uncertain, use both person-first and identity-first language to respect both preferences.
