It’s a good idea to sit down with both the parents and the child when explaining the rules so the child knows you’re all on the same page. Depending on the age of the child, try sitting them down and saying something like “One rule is that you keep your hands to yourself at all times because I don’t want you to hurt anyone, or get hurt by anyone. ” This works well if the child is old enough to understand cause and effect, typically adequate for children ages 5-10. A 2-year-old for example, may not understand why they aren’t allowed to do something, but can understand the word “no” and be redirected to another activity.
Grab some construction paper and markers and have them help you write out a numbered list of the rules. You can even let them decorate the chart. Bring the chart with you whenever you babysit and put it somewhere visible to the child. When they break one of the rules, stop them and say “Tommy, remember rule number 3? What does it say?” Point to the rule on your chart and have them recite why it is off limits. You could offer a reward if the child follows the rules and behaves well.
You can say something like “If you put your hands on someone else, you will be sent to time out. ” Or “If you throw a tantrum, you will not be allowed to watch TV. " Some sample punishments are taking away desserts, taking away a particular privilege (time with electronics), stopping whatever activity they are doing (don’t allow them to finish their craft), or taking away TV time or time playing outside. If the child is older, say 11-13, more effective punishments might include something like taking away their cell phone, tablet, or favorite video game.
If your rule chart says that talking back to adults will result in not being able to watch TV; you MUST turn off the TV. Even if you were in the middle of a show that you actually liked, the consequence must be followed through, or the difficult child won’t take any of your rules seriously. If the child protests, explain that your job is to enforce their parents’ family rules, even if you didn’t make them yourself. [3] X Expert Source Jessie DavidsonChild Care Specialist Expert Interview. 7 July 2021.
Explain to the child that you’re not obligated to bring gifts or fun things to do, and if they misbehave, you will stop. For example, bake some cookies to bring with you. Before letting Tommy have one, look him in the eyes and say “I like to bring goodies for you, but I don’t have to. These cookies are only for when you’re behaving nicely. If you break a rule, you won’t get any, and I won’t bring anything next time. Do you understand?”[6] X Research source
If Tommy had a tantrum over eating his lunch and threw his plate at you, try telling the parent something like “Tommy had a pretty good day today, but I have to be honest with you, he behaved very poorly at lunch. In response to that behavior, he had to sit in time out for 5 minutes. ”[7] X Research source If the child is older; you might be surprised what “version” of the day’s events they tell their parents later. To combat feeling like it’s your word against theirs, try to tell the parents of any issues as soon as they happen. A quick phone call or text immediately afterwards ensures you won’t forget, and the parents are kept up to date with an accurate account of the situation. You could also ask the parents for their permission to record their children’s misbehavior on your phone so you can send or show them the video.
Try starting the conversation with something like “I absolutely love babysitting Tommy, but I am having difficulties with a few things I was hoping you could help me with. He seems to throw frequent tantrums, how do you handle these at home?” You can also try saying “I think it would really help Tommy if we were on the same page. When he acts out, what consequence do you give him?” In the event the parents of the misbehaved kid don’t have any tips, ask your friends who have children how they handle tantrums and whatever other behaviors you’re trying to deal with. Chances are you’re not alone, someone you know has dealt with similar issues and will be able to give you some ideas that worked for them.
For instance, you may not care if the child runs in the house instead of walking. But if the parents tell you that is a rule implemented at their house, you should add it to your rule chart. If the child is older; you may not think anything of letting them watch Cartoon Network, only to find out their parents have forbidden certain programs. Always adapt what is and isn’t allowed while you’re babysitting to what the parents do at home. If you think a child is lying to you about the rules or trying to bend the truth, be honest and say, “I’m not sure about that, so let’s wait until your parents get home, and we can ask them for next time. “[9] X Expert Source Jessie DavidsonChild Care Specialist Expert Interview. 7 July 2021.
If you’re babysitting the child and their siblings, they might be able to help calm the delicate child down as well.
If they won’t stay on their own, sit with them and make them stay for the entire time. Older kids can throw tantrums too, but the time out chair may be far too juvenile for them. For an older unruly child who is getting out of control, it is best to try sending them to their room, or a separate room of the house until they calm down. Tell them they need to sit in that room until they settle down and are ready to come back out and listen. This gives you both a chance to cool off before they return.
