Some people even choose secular godparents to help their child’s moral development. If this is the case, make sure you understand the moral values of the parents and find out what other expectations they have. [1] X Research source Traditionally, godparents were responsible to raise the child should anything happen to the parents. This is often an expectation and an important part of this role. The family is likely entrusting their child to you should anything happen to them. It is important to clarify if this is expected ahead of time and to be ready for that responsibility. Because of this aspect of the role, it is not something to accept lightly. Take time to consider whether you are ready and willing to potentially raise a child.
Keep in mind that certain denominations require you to be a member in order to be a godparent. For example, Catholics expect a godparent to be a practicing Catholic. Lutherans also have this expectation. [2] X Research source The Church of England, on the other hand, allows for godparents of other denominations. [3] X Research source Make sure you meet the church’s requirements.
If you aren’t sure how much time to set aside, try starting with two hours per week. This will allow you sufficient time to connect with your godchild as well as preparing gifts or cards and spiritual encouragement. You’ll probably find that some weeks require less time and some weeks require more time, but this is a good starting point.
You could try throwing a baby shower or host a special dinner for the family. Try to assist them when the baby comes or offer to watch the child while the parents have some much-needed rest. Anything that shows that you care and want to be involved with their lives will be much appreciated.
In the Church of England, at the baptism ceremony the vicar will ask questions such as: “Will you pray for them, draw them by your example into the community of faith and walk with them in the way of Christ?” and “Will you care for them, and help them to take their place within the life and worship of Christ’s Church?” Your response to these questions would be, “…With the help of God we will. ”[6] X Research source Beyond the baptism, godparents are expected to be present at other religious milestones, such as a first communion or a confirmation. Being there to celebrate your godchild’s milestones is an important part of showing your support.
If you are struggling with your beliefs, you could try joining a small group or finding a mentor. This could help you to work through some of your doubts and learn from others. A daily devotional is also a useful tool in nurturing your faith. Choose one that will help you draw near to God and provide encouragement.
If you need help communicating your faith, you can use a religious book for children and spend time reading with them. You can also find out what they are learning in Sunday school or religious eduction and have a conversation with them about it. For example, you could say, “I heard you were learning about Jesus dying for sin and rising from the dead. What do you think about this? Do you have any questions?”
When your godchild is a bit older, you could send them an email saying something such as, “Dear Nancy, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been thinking and praying about you. Today when I was reading the Bible, I was especially encouraged by 2 Samuel 22:20: “[The Lord] brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. ” I just wanted to remind you that God loves you and delights in you and is always with you, and so am I. Love, Godmother”
For example, with a young child, if you read a story about David and Goliath, you could say something like, “See how God kept David safe? Even though there was something scary, God watched over David and helped him. God loves you and is with you too. ”
Eventually your godchild will be trying to find their place in the world. If they come to you with questions about their purpose or meaning in life, you can provide valuable insight, such as, “John, I’ve watched you grow from a young age and you have always been incredibly creative. Why don’t we pray about it together and ask God to show you how you can use your beautiful creativity to glorify him. ”
Perhaps your godchild is involved with sports or music or other extracurriculars. Try to attend as many of these events as you are able. It will mean the world to your godchild to have your support. You could even help out the parents by driving your godchild to an event. Try to stay up to speed with what they are learning in school. For example, if they are learning about the Solar System, you could ask them, “What’s your favorite planet?” They might even be interested to hear that when you learned about the Solar System, Pluto was a planet!
Ask your godchild for ideas about traditions they’d like to have. Traditions don’t have to be traditional! Maybe your godson loves cars and wants to go to watch a race each year for his birthday. These traditions can be unique to the two of you and honor your godchild’s distinct personality.
You could have a casual game night where everyone brings their favorite game. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Sometimes pizza and games are more meaningful than an elegant dinner party.
You could volunteer somewhere together, like working at a soup kitchen or building homes for those less fortunate. When you show your godchild that caring about other people is important, this will help them to learn empathy. Doing an activity together will also help your connection and let them see the ways that you care about people.
You don’t have to help them through this alone. Sometimes a child will need counseling or outside support to cope with tragedy. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Recognize that everyone deals with grief differently. Your godchild will likely behave in a different manner than you are accustomed to. This is to be expected and it is important to be patient and allow them time to heal.
