What is your ideal person? Make a list of traits that you believe make up a good, ideal person. Start living your life according to these traits. [2] X Research source Are you waiting for something in return? Are you doing things because it will help you look good? Or are you doing things because you truly want to give and help? Stop putting up airs and adopt the attitude of giving without expectation of receiving anything in return. [3] X Research source Being good does not mean only by outer goodness. You have to consider being good straight from the heart (i. e. , purely). Ultimately, you have to decide on your own code of ethics, and what matters is that you follow through with what you believe makes you a good person. At times, this may conflict with what others believe is good, and they might even accuse you of being wrong or evil. Consider their views - either they know something you don’t, in which case you may learn something from them and update your morality, or perhaps their experience is limited, meaning that you should take their views with a grain of salt.
Who do you look up to and why? How are they making the world a better place to live in, and how can you do the same? What qualities do you admire in them, and how can you develop the same ones? Keep your role model close to you, like a friendly spirit that is always at your side. Think of how they would respond to a question or circumstance, and how you should respond in the same manner. Ask your loved ones and people your trust for their input about how you can improve. They may recognize things you might not notice. [5] X Expert Source Tracey Rogers, MACertified Life Coach Expert Interview. 6 January 2020. Check in with your loved ones often and ask them if there are still ways you can become a better person. [6] X Expert Source Tracey Rogers, MACertified Life Coach Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.
You have your own unique gifts and talents. Focus on sharing them with the world instead of focusing on the gifts of another. [8] X Research source
Are you superficially acting like a good person? If you are self-loathing and angry on the inside, you may not be a good person despite all your outward actions.
Be good for its own sake. Don’t try to be a good person because your parents told you to, because you want recognition or respect, or for any kind of reward except your own satisfaction in doing what you believe is good. Never act superior to anyone else or brag about your “goodness” or “righteousness”. Your dedication to a particular creed, ideology, or set of guidelines does not make you better than anyone else. Do what you believe makes you a good person on your own terms, and remember that it’s an individual journey - everyone’s path is unique. “Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame. " — Alexander Pope.
Find a private, safe space free from distractions. Sit in a comfortable position. Clear your mind from all thoughts and take a few deep, slow breaths. Observe the thoughts in your head. Don’t feel or react, just observe. If your focus breaks, just count to ten. Meditate until you feel cleansed and rejuvenated. [13] X Research source
An example for Goal 1: I will listen to others without interrupting at all either verbally or in any other way. Think of how annoying it can be for you when the other person begins to move the lips as if they are about to intervene. Goal 2: I will do my best to think of what things would make another person happy. This could be sharing your food or drink with others when they are hungry or thirsty, letting someone else sit where you want to sit or something else.
The Motto of the Christophers says: “It is better to light a single candle than it is to curse the darkness. " Be that light. When you see controversy, try to be the one who changes the subject by suggesting a solution. Don’t state what you would do, but ask everyone to get involved.
Even reach out to people who have been cold or indifferent to you. Show someone who is rude to you the example of your kindness. Maybe people have always been rude to them. Be the person who shows them kindness instead. [16] X Research source
Recycling Buying organic and locally grown food Being a responsible pet owner by cleaning up after your pets[17] X Research source Donating old items to shelters or charitable organizations instead of a thrift store[18] X Research source Putting items back in the store where you got them instead of leaving them Not taking the closest parking space so you leave it for someone who needs it more
Don’t be in a hurry to get to the store and get back. Enjoy the scenery as you pass by. While in the store, notice all the fine and colorful fruits and vegetables that are there for your nourishment, and realize that others are not as fortunate to enjoy the same benefits. Buy some extra nourishing food to give to the food bank to help feed others. Suggest to the manager there should be a food drop off sold at discount somewhere in the store for the poor. Only use the car horn in an emergency situation. Don’t blow it at a little old man that can barely see over the wheel or someone driving extremely slow. Realize the driver may be taking his/her time so he/she doesn’t injure him/herself or someone else. If they rush past you, understand that they may be in a hurry for something important. Even if they are not, why add to already negative feelings?[21] X Research source Anger only begets anger.
Have integrity. Make your word mean something. If you say you are going to do something, then follow through on that promise. If circumstances arise that make it so you can’t do it, be honest and direct and let the person know. [26] X Research source Being honest doesn’t mean being rude or cruel.
It doesn’t work very well if you are merely trying to be diplomatic. Don’t adopt a policy like, “Anything for a quiet life. "
Be respectful of elderly people. Realize that you will be old someday and may need a helping hand. Next time you go to a mall, parking lot, or anywhere, look for an old person struggling with something, like carrying bags or loading groceries into their car. Ask, “May I help you with that?” You will be doing a great service for seniors. Sometimes you may get one who will reject your offer; simply say, “I understand, and I wish you a good day. " Or when you are out and see an old person alone, say hello with an amiable smile and ask how they are doing. Just acknowledging someone can make their day. Be compassionate towards intellectually disabled people. They are people with feelings too. Give them a big smile and treat them like a person. If other people are smiling or laughing with your interaction with them, ignore them and keep your attention on the person who is your true friend. Don’t be racist, homophobic, or intolerant of other religions. The world is a large place full of diversity. Learn from others and celebrate differences.
Don’t blame others. Accept what is your fault, talk to others about what they have done to upset you. But blaming others fosters negativity and resentment. [28] X Research source If you can’t let go of your anger, try writing down your feelings, meditating, or managing your thoughts. [29] X Research source Don’t try to correct people when they’re angry by saying something irrational. Just listen with compassion and remain quiet. Say to them, “I’m sorry you feel this way, is there anything I can do to help?”
Jealousy is hard to overcome. Try to realize that you don’t have to have the same things as everyone else. Try to stop feeling jealous of other people.
When other people see you doing good deeds, they will be reminded to take more positive action themselves. Nurturing someone else and striving to be an example can help you see your own acts more clearly. Start small. Join a Big Brother-Big Sister program, volunteer to coach a kid’s sports team, teach, or be a role model for young family members. [34] X Research source
Share your food with others. Never take the biggest slice of pizza or piece of meat, or if you absolutely must do so, split it with others.
Don’t talk about others behind their backs. Be a genuine person. If you have a problem with someone, confront them in a respectful way. Don’t spread bad things about them when they are not around. Don’t unfairly judge people. You don’t know the circumstances surrounding them. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and respect their choices. [36] X Research source Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. Remember the golden rule. Put the energy out into the universe you’d like to receive. Respect extends to your surroundings, too. Don’t throw trash on the floor, don’t purposefully mess up things, and don’t talk too loud or be obnoxious. Respect that other people share the same space as you. [37] X Research source
