When you do spend time with them, don’t roll your eyes or act like it’s mandatory. Instead, you should look forward to the special time you have together. Have routine nights where you spend time together, such as Sundays or Monday evenings, so you don’t have to try to work the time into your busy schedule.
Try to leave your bedroom door open as often as you can, so you welcome your parents in to have a conversation with you when they want to. Don’t make them feel like you want nothing to do with them. Don’t be afraid to ask for their advice. Believe it or not, your parents were once your age, and they’ve gone through the same struggles that you’re going through. [2] X Expert Source Dr. Niall Geoghegan, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 24 July 2019. They’ll appreciate that you value their opinions, and you may learn a lot in the process.
Don’t think that it’s pointless for you to write your parents a card or a letter just because you live in the same house. They’ll love the gesture. When you say “thank you,” look into your parents’ eyes to show that you really mean it and that you’re not just saying it because you feel obligated to say it.
Teaching them things will make your relationship feel less one-sided. You won’t feel like you always have to learn from them, and your time together may feel more interesting. When you do help them, don’t sigh or complain about it, and show them that you’re happy to help out.
Go on a camping trip with your family a few times a year. Spend the holiday season cooking together. Do a housework project with your mom or dad, such as tiling floors, glazing furniture, or even building a bookshelf. Find a TV show that you and your parents can watch and enjoy together and make it part of your weekly routine. Try volunteering at a local park or library with your parents. Go to watch your favorite sports team with your mom or dad.
If you tell your mom, “But dad says it’s okay!” when she won’t let you do something, then you’re only creating friction between your parents by pitting them against each other.
When your parents are talking to you, give them your full attention. Don’t shift around on your feet or look longingly towards your bedroom. Don’t ever make them feel like you have better things to do than to talk to them.
The least you can do is to always clean up after yourself, whether this means doing your own laundry or dishes or keeping your room clean. But after that, you should go above and beyond and help scrub the bathroom floor, take out the trash, or even clean out the fridge.
The best you can do is to respect your learning institution instead of playing hooky or complaining about it all the time. Your parents shouldn’t have to force you to see the value of your education.
Your parents will appreciate it if you learn to do things on your own, from making your own meals to cleaning up on your own initiative. Your foresight will help them out a lot. Don’t be afraid to be different from your parents. They don’t expect you to be a clone of them.
You can also be a good son by helping your siblings do their schoolwork, clean up, or learn basic skills. This will give your parents some more time to relax.
If your parents want you to do something you don’t want to do, such as go to church, try to explain why it’s not the path for you. Don’t just outright refuse, but make a point of staying calm while you explain your own beliefs. If your parents won’t budge, find a way to keep things civil and even friendly and to avoid topics that will cause you to fight.
It takes character to be able to step into someone else’s shoes. The next time you have a fight with one of your parents, try to see the situation from his or her perspective to see if it gives you a better understanding of why they disagree with you. This can help strengthen your relationship and will give you a deeper understanding of who your parents really are. To see them as people, you can also ask them questions about their friends, their job, their childhood, or anything else that will shed some light on who they are.
Make sure that they know you really mean it, and that you’re not just saying it so they’ll stop being mad at you. If you’ve upset one of your siblings, it’s just as important to apologize to them as well.
Remember anniversaries and birthdays. It’s important to send your parents birthday cards or gifts on their anniversaries or on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day (if your family celebrates it). This shows them that they’re on your mind even when you’re apart.
With this in mind, know that it’s much more important to your parents that you’re happy than if you make a six-figure salary, live in a posh neighborhood, or are dating the most beautiful woman in the city. It’s more important that you do the best you can with what you have, instead of striving for some impossible-to-reach version of happiness.
Though it’s important to be independent of your parents as you become an adult and develop your own views about the world and follow your path, you can get some help from them once in a while.
Avoid condescending to them, nagging them, or giving them a hard time for doing something their own way. Even if your way is quicker or more efficient, they may want to stick to their old routines, and you can’t hold that against them. Be patient with them. As they get older, it may take them longer to do things than it used to, but that doesn’t mean you should get frustrated.
If you see them as fellow adults, you’ll be able to be honest with them instead of just telling them what you think they want to hear from a model son. They’ll appreciate your candor.
