General knowledge. You’re the jack of all trades. You could win a pretty penny on Jeopardy! if you cared at all about being on TV. You know the difference between participles and parts of speech, pterodactyls and pterorhynchus, and a $99 suit and a $6,000 suit. History. Increasingly rare, the man who’s a student of history gives himself the benefit of a very wide lens when contemplating problems: he can draw on Roman artillery strategy, Cold War negotiating tactics, and obscure French economic policy, among others. He knows that history isn’t just about preventing the mistakes of the past from happening in the future. Women. Some men turn the opposite sex into a field of study. If you want to be knowledgeable about women, be prepared to make mistakes and learn from them. There’s nothing worse than a man who thinks he’s God’s gift to all women, but who’s stubbornly insulting, cavalier, and clueless. Note that this does not apply to all men and that such stereotypes like “being a lady’s-man” are not only out-dated, but also presumptuous.
Learn to say “I’m sorry” in different ways. Men know that saying “sorry” doesn’t always have to be verbal. A ticket to a baseball game, breakfast in bed, and a camping trip are all ways to say “I’m sorry” without moving the old vocal cords back and forth. Men know that these are often more effective ways of communicating regret than two measly words.
Learn to say “I’m sorry” in different ways. Men know that saying “sorry” doesn’t always have to be verbal. A ticket to a baseball game, breakfast in bed, and a camping trip are all ways to say “I’m sorry” without moving the old vocal cords back and forth. Men know that these are often more effective ways of communicating regret than two measly words.
Dating no-nos. You may never date another friend’s sister (or sibling), unless you actually intend on marrying them. You may never date another friend’s ex unless you have his explicit permission. Explicit permission means actually asking him. Share your possessions when possible. If a friend asks for a pair of work boots, a drill, or a crock-pot a day in advance, you should be kind enough to loan it to him. Cars, lucky items, or partners are not necessarily applicable. Birthday presents for other men are always optional. If pressed for information, you may always lie and tell them your significant other ordered you to act. Never initiate conversation with other men at a urinal station. It is never acceptable to choose a urinal immediately adjacent to another man if an open, further-removed urinal is available. No smiley-faces or emoticons are necessary when texting another guy. Although acceptable (not preferable) to use when texting love-interests, keep use to a bare minimum.
Did you grow up in a culture where it was acceptable to abuse someone, whether physically or verbally, who was “out of line” or insubordinate? Violence is more often the result of cowardice than a genuine impulse to solve a problem. Using violence or threats against friends or family to “show your authority” is unhealthy and damaging. Were you taught that being “tough” means suppressing emotion, holding in tears, and never exposing vulnerability? The drawback here is that you also learn to internalize and suppress these emotions which then fester and get worse. Focus on being a different kind of tough: be a reliable, strong figure who can handle adversity. Were you taught to hate/fear anyone who’s homosexual? Understand that only one thing makes you gay: having a romantic and sexual preference for people of the same gender. The kind of music you like, the clothes you wear, whether you cry at sad movies, buying your wife flowers, being sensitive or nice to others — none of that makes you gay. Outward displays of homophobia point to a man’s own sexual insecurity, not his prowess and is not cool in any way, shape or form.
You don’t have to shave every day, especially not if you are growing a beard. Some men cannot grow a proper beard, and that’s okay, maybe then it’s better to stay clean shaven. Other men have very good beard growth, which is nature’s call to them to grow a full beard. Men tend to be afraid of what potential partners think of facial hair. No one should dominate (or manipulate) you into shaving your beard when you don’t want to. Be yourself, as nature created you, be your own master. You don’t have to shave or trim your chest hair, back hair or any body hair in general. You don’t have to live up to any nonsensical and superficial image of “smooth, chiseled (plastic) man” created by modern fashion, advertising and movie industry, again in order to make money. Some men are very hairy, others are totally smooth, either way, be proud of your body and all the physical attributes nature has created to give you your male identity. Shower and bathe when necessary. A man benefits from showering when he is dirty or smelly — not necessarily every day. Some may choose to stay dirty or smelly for a good reason (working on a car, or about to work out). You can cut your hair and finger nails regularly. Most men like no-nonsense haircuts, although some men prefer hair that is a little longer or style and that is fine also.
Great jeans. One pair of casual jeans, one pair of work jeans, and one pair of formal jeans should round out your wardrobe. Build around the basics. Some button-down shirts. Again, a couple casual item, a couple for work, and a couple formal button-downs should be enough for the average man. Decent shoes. Men probably want between three and five different kinds of shoes at any given time: formal shoes (for work and/or big occasions), tennis shoes, work boots, casual shoes (chukkas, lace-ups, sneakers, etc. ), or slightly-less-than-formal shoes (oxfords, top-siders, loafers, etc. ). Mix and match depending on your needs and habits.
A man never steals, even if he is desperate. A desperate man learns to ask others to help him instead of helping himself to something he is not entitled to. A man helps others in need. He knows when others are down on their luck and need a helping hand, even if the utility lies in the gesture itself. A man trusts his friends, significant others, and family. He follows through with what he says he’ll do and expects others to do the same. A man never lies — to himself or others. He develops a conscience that gives him good feedback and allows him to be comfortable with the truth, even if it hurts.
Paying for dates, unless the love-interest in question views the act as some barbaric throwback to a more misogynistic time. Treat with caution. Opening doors, helping into chairs, and saying “please” and “thank you. " Generally putting the lover in question ahead of yourself out of respect. Doing domestic duties. Some men who are already in long-term relationships shirk their domestic duties: forgetting to take out the trash, do the dishes, change the diapers. Real men know that they must share in domestic duties, as unpleasant as they may be. Being a gracious loser. Man are naturally competitive, making this a tough one for some. Accept defeat with the same grace that you accept victory. Easier said than done.
Do: Listen to what they have to say. Forgive them when they make a simple mistake. Follow through on what you say you’ll do. Treat them the same way you’d like to be treated. Don’t: Hold them to unrealistic expectations. Manipulate them to get whatever you want. Treat them as an object instead of a person. Assume that you know how they’ll feel or react.
Listen to what they have to say. Forgive them when they make a simple mistake. Follow through on what you say you’ll do. Treat them the same way you’d like to be treated.
Hold them to unrealistic expectations. Manipulate them to get whatever you want. Treat them as an object instead of a person. Assume that you know how they’ll feel or react.
