How To Be An Assertive Woman 13 Steps With Pictures

Hold your head high when talking to others. Make sure to maintain an upright position with your shoulders back and your feet equally apart. Hold eye contact with whoever you’re talking to. When shaking hands, give a firm handshake. Other examples of submissive body language include sitting with your feet and legs crossed and tucked under your chair, arms pulled in with shoulders lowered, and moving very little.

Do not hesitate to express yourself in any situation, and do not ask permission. In a business meeting, for example, don’t say, “Can I offer a counterargument?” Instead, just put forth your argument. You should also avoid apologizing for your opinions, or adding caveats. Avoid qualifying statements, like, “I just wanted to say/I just think. . . “, “I’m sorry, but. . . “, and “I’m no expert, but I think. . . " Simply get straight to the meat of your opinion. [1] X Research source Instead, say something like, “I don’t agree with that point. I understand where you’re coming from, but this is the route I think we should take. " However, you don’t have to lead like this if that isn’t true to your heart. Times are changing, and the archetypal masculine form of leadership is no longer the only way to make yourself heard. [2] X Expert Source Joui TurandotBranding Consultant Expert Interview. 4 June 2020.

Do not make half-statements or add apologies to your requests. For example, do not say to a male colleague, “If you’re not too busy today, would it be possible for you to make those revisions I asked for?” This can come off as a light request. It also may come off as passive-aggressive. Instead, make the request directly. Say something like, “I need those revisions done by the end of the day. "

However, there are many important ways to be in the world that aren’t a heavy-handed forcing of dominance. [5] X Expert Source Joui TurandotBranding Consultant Expert Interview. 4 June 2020. Allow people to express contrary beliefs, just as you would expect them to allow you to assert yourself. Disagreement is often necessary to make the best possible decision. Try to show people you hear their requests without sounding like you’re giving in or agreeing. For example, “I can understand why you feel that way. I have similar concerns, but I see a different solution here. "

Do your research in terms of how much you should be making in your position. Look online, talk to recruiters, and ask people in your network who are in similar jobs. This concrete knowledge can help you ask for what you want and need.

You deserve to feel however you’re feeling. Feelings do not have to be 100% rational, and you do not have to act on every sentiment you have. You do need to be able to acknowledge your emotions in a healthy fashion. When you feel angry, be mindful of the fact. Think something like, “I am feeling angry right now because Steve interrupted me in a meeting. " Accept that you’re feeling angry and allow yourself to experience the emotion until it passes.

For example, you’re trying to pick a brunch place with your boyfriend and he’s vetoed many of your suggestions. You may find his reasons somewhat petty, but hear his reasoning out. Instead of getting angry, suggest he find some places he may like to go. Then, the two of you can sit down together and select a place that works for you both. As long as you can express yourself in a way that feels true to you and people are hearing you, then you’re doing great. [9] X Expert Source Joui TurandotBranding Consultant Expert Interview. 4 June 2020.

Try to catch and alter negative thoughts. For example, you may find yourself thinking something like, “It was rude of me to tell my friend I can’t watch her cat this weekend. " Instead, think something like, “I have a very busy schedule right now, so it was wise of me not to take on unnecessary commitments. " Remember, asserting yourself is not wrong. It’s necessary to self-care and your basic emotional health.

If someone is intimidated by female strength, that is their problem. You do not need to deal with other people’s insecurities. Do not internalize the negativity of those around you. Remind yourself of all the benefits you gain from being more assertive. If you get a lot of negativity, especially in a work or school environment, report it to someone. You can firmly let the person know you do not appreciate their language. Say something like, “It is not okay for you to talk to me like that, especially in a professional setting. "

Pick small stakes decisions first. For example, if you disagree about the restaurant your friends chose for lunch, say so. Gradually, you can work your way up. For example, after a couple of weeks, vocally disagree with a colleague at a business meeting.

You don’t always need to give a reason. If a friend, say, asks you to give her a ride somewhere, just say something like, “No, I’m not able to do that. " If you feel comfortable giving a reason, you can add something like, “I’m really busy today;” however, this is not necessary. If someone asks for a favor, they don’t need to know why you said, “No. " It may seem intimidating at first, but it will get easier with time. You don’t need to feel obligated to take on work you do not have time for. Even if you could reasonably fit something into your schedule, it’s important to have some downtime.

Assert yourself in a way that makes the other person feel valued, while at the same time expressing your own needs. For example, say something like, “I really love the bars you always pick for happy hour, but there are a few places I’ve been wanting to check out. "

For example, do not say, “I think this solution would be best for our company?” Avoid the sound of a question mark at the end. Instead, firmly say, “I think this solution would be best for our company. "