Search for churches in the Affirming Church Directory: http://www. gaychurch. org/find_a_church/ Most denominations have gay-friendly churches, but you might have luck with a UCC, Quaker, or Unitarian Universalist church. Look for churches that have LGBTQ affinity groups, Gay Straight Alliances, mentoring programs for queer youth, and diversity-affirming committees. Consider finding a church with an LGBTQ pastor. If there are no congregations near where you live, consider streaming online church services from a gay-affirming church and participating in related message boards.
Consider joining an interfaith group for gay people.
Find a general LGBTQ friendly message board and start a discussion about faith.
If you don’t know anyone like this, practice by talking it through with your online community.
Say something like “I need to tell you something I know about myself that you may not know. This is something that has been true about me my whole life, and while I’ve struggled with it, I’ve come to accept that it is part of who I am. " Reassure them that you know what you are talking about, that you have always been gay, and that you are still a Christian. Offer helpful materials. Look for materials meant to support Christians with gay family members. Direct them to websites with resources for Christian parents: http://www. themarinfoundation. org/resources/resources-for-parents/ If you are a minor who lives at home and is financially dependent on your family, consider waiting to come out until you are able to support yourself. If you live with homophobic family members, have a backup plan before you come out, or if you fear being outed. Locate a shelter, or ask a relative or close friend if you can stay with them if you are left homeless.
If your family attends a different church, consider speaking to their pastor. Only do this if you have attended the church before, or if you have your family’s permission: otherwise they may feel violated.
Be open about your relationships. Do not let people refer to your partner as your “friend. " Say, “Ben is my best friend in the world, but he’s my partner of four years. Please refer to him as my partner or my boyfriend. "
If they say you’re confused, rebelling, or have “chosen” to identify as gay, all you can do is say that you understand why they think that, but it’s not true. Tell them they have to trust you. If they say you are sinning, you can explain why you think you aren’t, but acknowledge that it is not for you or them to judge. If your family is worried that gay love is a sin, it’s up to you how much you care to share with them. You don’t have to say anything at all. If you are only planning on having sex within the bounds of marriage, or remaining abstinent altogether, you can offer that up as a kind of chastity the Bible supports. If you aren’t, point out that the Bible is against all sorts of lust, and doesn’t really account for most contemporary partnerships. Don’t get sucked into endless arguments about the Bible and gay love with anyone who harasses you. You don’t have to defend your orientation: you are who you are.
Remind them that Genesis 19 is about the gang-rape of angels, and actual gay people are never mentioned in connection to Sodom. Point out that Romans 1:26-27 and Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 are about teaching against worship of false gods, and that context may explain the language about gay sex. If they bring up I Corinthians 6:9 or I Timothy 1:10, tell them the translation of the Greek words “malakos” and “arsenokoites” as “gay” is controversial, as that meaning was rare when the words were most common. Remind them that Christianity is, at its core, about love and acceptance of one another and treating others with respect and dignity. [4] X Expert Source Kateri Berasi, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.
Don’t be shy about your faith around other LGBTQ people. Remember, half of them are Christians, and a lot of the rest practice other faiths, are spiritual, or love people who are religious. Accept and affirm transgender individuals. They are the most vulnerable portion of the LGBTQ population. Apply intersectional thinking to your activism. As a gay Christian, you understand that no single identity category suffices to define one’s position in the world. Consider the unique positions of LGBTQ people who are people of color, who are disabled, who are first-generation college students, who are refugees…
