Maybe your roommate is really messy, but she’s also the one who does all of the grocery shopping. You should find a way to compliment her good qualities as well as her bad ones so she doesn’t get defensive or feel like you don’t appreciate her as a roommate. Maybe your best friend is calling a lot because she’s been lonely ever since her boyfriend broke up with her. You can still say what you want to say, but be considerate of her feelings and try to think of it from her perspective before you proceed.
People will be grateful and impressed by your thoughtfulness. You shouldn’t do this because you want something in exchange, but because you genuinely want to help people.
Try to keep your voice at a normal level, whether you’re on the phone or talking to friends Avoid taking up too much space If you’re in class, avoid unwrapping something loudly or shuffling around so much that you cause a distraction Look where you’re going instead of texting and walking
If you’re throwing a wedding, think about your guests. Can your bridesmaids really afford $200 dresses, or a trip to a bachelorette party in Tahiti? Can your guests really pay to fly across the country to celebrate you? Of course, it should be your event, but you should make sure that the people involved don’t have to break their bank account to participate. If you’re hanging out with people who don’t have a lot of money, find cheaper things to do, like going to happy hour or a dive bar or watching a fun movie instead of going clubbing or going to the theatre. Don’t embarrass people by making them admit that they can’t afford to do things.
For example, maybe you have some great news to share, like you recently got engaged. This news can be perfect for brunch with your friends, but if your coworker is talking about his mother’s funeral, then you should absolutely hold off on your big news. On the other hand, if you have some bad news to deliver, make sure the person is in the right frame of mind as well. If your friend is gushing about her pregnancy, it’s not the time to talk about how you just got dumped. If you have to give negative feedback to a coworker, make sure you to it when the person isn’t caught off guard. Set up a time to talk to the person instead of casually giving negative feedback when the person least expects it.
Even if you’re giving negative feedback, you can find a delicate way to phrase it. You can tell a coworker he “could be more efficient” instead of saying he’s “slow” or you can tell a needy best friend that you feel overwhelmed by her instead of saying she is “clingy” or “needy. " You can also make your message sound less offensive if you don’t directly use the word “you” all the time. For example, instead of telling your boyfriend, “You are so paranoid,” you can say, “I worry about the trust issues in our relationship. " This still gets the message across without making your boyfriend feel like you’re pointing a finger at him.
If you have a quick chat with a friend in the halls or at lunch, make sure you both have time to say what’s up. If you just tell your friend all about your day and what you’re doing next weekend and then say goodbye, that’s not very considerate. You should also be considerate when you think about the subject you’re discussing. Would your co-workers really want to hear about your drama with your best friend they’ve never met? Or would your best friend really want to hear a long discussion about the meeting you had at work?
If you were an extended house guest at a friend’s house or a friend or person did something really nice for you, send or give him or her a bottle of wine or a gift basket to show that you really care. Sometimes, just saying “Thanks!” isn’t enough. Get in the habit of writing thank-you cards to show your appreciation. This is a thoughtful and oft-forgotten gesture. You can also go beyond just saying “thank you” and explain how much the person’s action meant to you. For example, you can say something like, “Jackie, thank you so much for cooking dinner for me the other night. I was so stressed out with work that day, and you really helped calm me down. "
People who are considerate known when to apologize because they’re aware when they’ve hurt someone’s feelings, even if they didn’t mean to do it. If you’ve hurt someone, don’t say something like, “I’m sorry you felt bad when I. . . " This kind of language actually blames the other person and avoids responsibility.
Hold doors open for people Pull out chairs for people Make room for people who sit next to you Let older people take your seat if you’re on a bus or a train Pick up coffee for a fellow coworker if you’re going on a coffee run Help your parents out by doing extra chores when they are clearly overwhelmed Run an errand for a significant other or roommate
Avoid cursing or being overly vulgar If you burp, excuse yourself Put a napkin on your lap when you eat and avoid getting food all over yourself Don’t loudly slurp your drink Make room for people on the sidewalk Avoid gross or inappropriate topics in front of the wrong audience
Sharing isn’t just for little kids and siblings. It’s an important quality of a considerate person at any age.
Of course, if you’re going to a party or an event with a lot of people, then showing up exactly on time may not matter — in fact, getting to a party the second it starts can actually be a bit awkward. But if it’s you keeping another person or two waiting, then that is just plain inconsiderate. If you know that you’re going to be late, don’t lie about your location (“I’m just a few blocks away!”) because you think that’ll make it better. Be honest about the fact that you’re running 10 or 15 minutes late.
Making a habit of looking for opportunities when you can help people will make you a more considerate person. Of course, you have to make sure the person truly welcomes the random act of kindness. You don’t want to overwhelm someone who wants to be left alone.
People who are inconsiderate expect the world to revolve around them, and expect people to clean up their trash for them. This shows that they think they are more important than other people and expect that others will act accordingly. You don’t want to be this person.
