Though “stop caring about what people think” may sound impossible, you can definitely do it if you make a point of casting aside the comments that were made about you and going on about your day. People who have nothing but negativity to spread aren’t worth your time. If people are spreading rumors about you or just saying bad things about you, don’t fight back by starting rumors of your own. Instead, take the high road and ignore these haters, showing that you’ve got better things to do with your time than to care about what they’re saying about you. That is definitely cool.
To make this easier, you should try to spend as much of your time doing the things you love as you can. Of course no one will see you having a great time if you’re stuck in detention or are on your way to band practice when you can’t stand it. Work on developing a positive energy that makes you see the bright side of things, and makes you quick to laugh instead of worry. Focus on being in the present moment instead of being concerned about how you come off.
You can also get noticed by teaching people to master the thing you’re good at. You can offer to give people drawing lessons, tennis tips, or even tell people how to be the best at tetherball. If you’re willing to teach other people and help them improve, then you will definitely come off as cool.
Talk about something you’re looking forward to over the weekend or an awesome show or movie that you saw. Make it clear that you’re happy with what you’ve been doing and that you want to share your ideas with people. Now that’s confidence. Compliment other people as often as you can while being genuine. People who are confident aren’t jealous and see the good in people and are happy to point it out. Introduce yourself to someone you don’t know and strike up a conversation with that person. Now that takes confidence.
Don’t worry about having a perfectly-matching, immaculately-coordinated look. Wearing clothes that are offbeat or unique can be much more interesting if you can pull it off. The most important thing is that your clothes fit you well. Wearing clothes that are too baggy can make you look sloppy and wearing clothes that are too tight can make you look more provocative than you intended. Just remember to shower and groom yourself daily. It will be hard to pull off any look if you look sloppy or haven’t showered in a few days.
It’s actually much more cool to care about the parts of school that you really love, and to make a name for yourself in them, whether you’re a history buff or president of the Student Council. If you don’t care about anything except cutting class, people won’t know who you are. Being a good students in the classroom, helping others with their homework, and taking the initiative to ask questions can actually make you more popular. When everybody has an issue with the same topic but feels intimidated to ask the teacher for help, be the one who asks! People will see that you can speak up for what you need, and that you are brave—and that means a cool person to hang out with.
The definition of popular is “well-liked. ” If you want to be well-liked, then you need to know a lot of different people so that they can like you. If you only talk to 10 people, then, while they may like you fine, you wouldn’t be well-liked by all. Don’t overdo, however, because it may come across as strange and even fake. Do kind, courteous things to show that you are human and recognize your impact on others, but don’t try to be overly nice, and remember that some things are reserved for you genuine friends only. If you put people down or are just mean to people who you think are unworthy, then you’ll come off as insecure.
Just say hi and introduce yourself when the time is right. Most people will be happy to talk to someone new, especially if they don’t know anybody. If a new person seems shy or quiet, don’t mistake this as rudeness. It can take longer for some people to open up than others.
The fact of the matter is, most people love to talk about themselves, even if they need to be prodded a little. If you get them talking about their favorite subject, then they will like you, and you will therefore become more popular. Of course, you shouldn’t just ask people questions to make them like you. You should work on genuinely caring about getting to know people.
If you’re really good at something, then other people will find out, whether they see it for themselves, hear it from your friends, or read about the goal you kicked in the school paper. Trust that your successes will come through and that you don’t need to broadcast them. Instead of talking about how good you are at something, take the time to compliment other people, whether they are on your debate team or your football team.
Whenever you’re having a conversation with someone, try not to do more than 50% of the talking. Nobody likes to stand there and hear a person go on and on. If you’re in a group setting, try not to dominate the conversation. Let at least three people speak before you tell another story or make another long comment. Though you shouldn’t monitor yourself every second of the conversation, you should be aware of not taking over.
Get to know your audience when you talk to people. The brainy girl from your English class may want to talk to you about books or films, while the sporty guy on your baseball team may want to talk about the Mets game instead. Learn to read body language. If the person you’re talking to is shifting on his feet, checking his phone, or responding in one-word answers, then he or she may want to change the topic to something that you both care about.
When someone is trying to tell you something, nothing else should matter. Put away your phone, stop looking around, and look into their eyes as they tell you what they have to say. Avoid interrupting or giving your opinion until the person is done talking. Focus on listening to the person on his or her own terms, instead of comparing the situation or experiences to something that happened to you. If you find yourself saying, “That sounds just like my break up…” then you’re not really listening.
If you hang out with people who regularly put other people down, then it may be time to find some new friends. First, though, talk to your friends to see if they are willing to change the behavior.
Joining a sports team will also let you meet a lot of cool people who you might not get to meet in your classes. It’ll help you expand your social network, and people who are truly cool and popular have a wide social circle.
You may also meet a different type of person in some of your clubs than you would while being part of a sports team. Being friends with a variety of people helps you learn how to talk to almost anyone and can help you become more well-known. Just being part of the club is not going to make you popular. It is important to really enjoy the activity, express yourself in a positive way, and share your excitement with other people who like it.
If you’re involved in your community, you may even gain experience talking to older people, which is a valuable skill that can help you become more mature and knowledgeable. These people may have a thing or two to teach you about what it really means to be cool.
Maintaining a variety of interests can help you meet a number of interesting people. Once you befriend them, you should also work on expanding your social circle and hanging out with those people at non-club or sports related activities. Joining a club, a sports team, or a community network can also help you find your talents and develop them. Having a talent is very cool indeed.
