Tell yourself that you are decisive—not that you “can be” or “will become” decisive, but that you already “are. " On the flip side, you also need to stop telling yourself that you are indecisive, and you need to stop telling that to other people, too. [2] X Research source
Pay special attention to feelings of self-confidence and signs of respect from other people. If you’re naturally pessimistic, it might be difficult to imagine positive results. [3] X Research source Force yourself if you have to, though, and don’t fixate on worries about things getting messed up or people getting angry at you.
For example, you might be torn between two job opportunities. If you refuse to make a decision about which to choose, one company might withdraw their offer, causing you to choose the other company. The first job might have actually been the better one, but you missed out on it because you did not go through the work of making the choice.
Small decisions include questions like, “What should I have for dinner?” or “Would I rather see a movie or stay at home this weekend?” Generally, these choices do not have long-term consequences and will only affect you or a small group of people.
For example, you could buy two tickets to an event before you secure a date or buy the ingredients before you pick a recipe to make. If you’re worried about something going to waste, you’re more likely to be assertive about making a choice to avoid that waste.
This is actually a pretty big part of the process. You need to have faith in the idea that you’re already capable of making good, split-second decisions. If your initial results suggest otherwise, simply keep at it until you do get good at it and trust that that day will come after enough experience.
Most decisions do not require as much time to make as you might initially assume. Without a deadline, you are more likely to procrastinate on making a decision, which can ultimately lead to a greater sense of uncertainty when you do make a choice.
You need to actively seek out the information you’re looking for. Do not sit around and wait for it to drop in front of you. Research the issue at hand from as many different angles as possible in the time that you have. Sometimes, you may reach your decision in the midst of your research. If this happens, trust your gut and go with it. If it doesn’t, though, review your research after you’ve gathered as much as you can and navigate through the decision from there.
Also keep in mind that not all “pros” and “cons” are equal. Your “pro” column may only have one or two points in it while the “con” column has four or five points, but if the two points in the “pro” column are really important and the four in the “con” column are fairly insignificant, the “pros” can still outweigh the “cons. ”
Some of the limits you naturally set are good, of course. Knocking those limits down long enough to consider the options that lie beyond them won’t hurt because you’ll still be able to realize that those options are not good. Giving yourself more options does not mean that you’ll be blind to bad choices; it only means that you’ll have a chance to find a good choice that you never would have considered before.
Consider your feelings, as well. Imagine how you will feel upon choosing one option over another, and ask yourself if one choice will leave you feeling fulfilled while another may leave you feeling empty.
Sometimes, this means defining core values. For instance, when making a choice regarding the future of your relationship, ask yourself what you really find important in a relationship. If sincerity and compassion are more important to you than excitement, you’d be better off with the sincere homebody than the adventurous liar. Other times, this means determining which consequences are of greater value than others. If you need to make a decision on a project and realize that you cannot satisfy both your budget and your quality demands, ask yourself if the budget or the quality is of greater significance for that project.
If you have a habit of making bad choices, ask yourself what the underlying cause of those bad choices might be. For instance, maybe most of your poor decisions are based on a lust for wealth or power. If that’s the case, then factor out those options that would satisfy that craving and consider other alternatives.
You can also look at this journal during “off” times, when you do not need to make any decision or when the consequences of a past decision no longer weigh on your mind. Read through your entries to see your thought process and examine it objectively. Assess your past choices, asking yourself what leads to success and what leads to failure, and take notes for the future.
