Your behavior early on will set the tone for the rest of your relationship. If you set a tone of faith, trust, and belief in one another and give each other a real sense that your relationship is solid and unshakable, it will be a great comfort to you and help you through difficult times. If you prove yourself worthy of his/her trust today, in ten years if someone accuses you of something, he/she will dismiss it, knowing that you would never betray him/her because of your history together. On the other hand, if you do something that you should not have done, you can’t expect your spouse to trust you totally. You have put doubt in his/her mind, and that has made him/her insecure. The only way to correct that is to do everything in your power (through real actions) to show him/her that they can trust you. [4] X Research source
If you agree upon something do exactly that. Don’t change it unless absolutely necessary, preferably due to circumstances you cannot control. If this happens, call and notify your spouse of the change immediately - don’t wait till he or she is worried or angry. Though “checking in” or reporting changes in plans may rub you the wrong way, learn that you must sacrifice some things if you are to be successful as a team – remember that this helps your spouse to keep the trust she or he has in you. Being accountable to your spouse helps keep you close, and that helps build fidelity and faith.
Leaving your ring on sends a clear signal to everyone else outside of your union. It reminds you that you are “taken” and most people will know better than to trespass. If someone fails to heed the sign of your ring, show it to them close up and be sure they know it means you really are married and that you’re not interested in flirting at all. If presenting your ring and clearly stating you’re married and happily so doesn’t work, and that person continues to pursue you, stop contact with that person at once, if possible. (If it’s your brother’s wife, you may have a tough time doing that, but limit contact to groups and never be alone with her. If she manages to isolate you from the rest of the family, extricate yourself quickly - kindly if possible, but rudely if necessary. In any case, be utterly clear. )
Don’t get yourself into any situation where even a whiff of lust is near. It’s natural to find yourself attracted to others, even people other than your spouse. But don’t allow yourself to be alone with anyone like this, and don’t go out of your way to see him or her. Don’t daydream or email, don’t entertain the notion of being with someone else - unless it’s someone like Katy Perry or Ryan Reynolds. Someone unattainable is a silly crush (still, you shouldn’t obsess over a crush like this to the detriment of your marriage). Someone at work, or at a party (i. e. , in the same room with you) is a threat to your happy marriage. Have an escape plan. For example, consider that if a certain person who attracts you comes near you, that you’ll head for the bathroom and then perhaps another group of people - or even head home.
People who try to encourage a person to dally with them knowing full well that the other person is married are often very unhappy people, and they don’t care to see anyone else happy. Ask yourself this question: “Why isn’t there someone special in their life?” Often it’s because they are simply not happy to be happy. Remember that if they don’t mind harming your marriage, they won’t be hanging around after the thrill of being with you wears off.
When the children come, be sure to keep your spouse as number one priority. You can love your children absolutely without forsaking your love for your spouse. There has been a tendency in our current child-obsessed culture (partially, it’s about hanging onto one’s own childhood) to put the children’s interests before the spousal love life. That’s unbalanced and will end up exhausting everyone’s limits, smothered children included. Be a loving role model for your children so that they grow up seeing parents whose love for one another and mutual respect endures throughout all the messy diapers, bossy tweens and curfew-breaking teens!
Examples: You are doing all the housework and your spouse is not contributing. Your spouse does not seem interested in you and you feel pushed away when you try to get attention. You feel something is missing in the way your spouse is treating you. You feel like something is missing in the area of the relationship that you feel is important.
