Just end the conversation with a simple, “Okay, I’ll talk to you later,” or something like that. When you see her afterwards, just smile and say hi. Don’t bring up the rejection again, at least for a while. She made her decision and you’ll only pester her if you keep bringing it up. Never insult or threaten her. It’s this girl’s right to decide who she wants to date, and she doesn’t deserve to be insulted because she rejected your advances.
Everyone grieves at their own pace, and it’s normal to feel sad for a while. If you can’t seem to get over it or are feeling depressed for some time, however, you might be suffering from some psychological issues. Consider talking to a guidance counselor or mental health professional to get the help you need. [3] X Research source
Remember that this rejection doesn’t mean anything about you as a person. [5] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019. You’re not a bad or undesirable person because one girl didn’t accept your advances. All the good qualities you had are still a part of you. Once you realize that, moving on is much easier. [6] X Research source
It especially helps to do activities you’re good at. This will help rebuild your confidence. For example, if you’re great at basketball, go play a pickup game at the park. Your good performance on the court will help help improve your mood and confidence level.
Also, if she realizes you have other motives, she might think twice about being your friend too. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to be friends with a girl who rejected me?"[7] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
It’s normal to be nervous about talking to her for the first few times after the rejection. Try reading Talk to a Girl for some ideas on how to overcome your nerves and hold down a conversation. Start a conversation with her about something you know you have in common. For example, you may have a class together. Talking about the teacher or an upcoming test is a good way to get a conversation going. This will break the ice and show her that you’re someone she can talk to normally. Again, don’t bring up the rejection. This will make her uncomfortable and she probably won’t be too excited to talk to you.
During one of your conversations you could casually bring up a band or something that was on TV the night before. Pay attention to her response and see if she is interested in it. If she doesn’t like what you brought up, use that as an opportunity to ask what she prefers instead. Learning about one of her interests will give you even more common ground with her and can help foster your friendship. However, you should only take up a hobby or interest if you legitimately like it. Doing something just because she likes it means that you’re not being honest with her or yourself.
Movies, sports games, bowling, and going out to eat are all great activities that can be done in a large group. If your friends know about the rejection, make sure to tell them not to bring it up while she’s around. An off-hand comment from one of your friends could make her uncomfortable and mess up what would have been a fun time.
If you do ask her to see you alone, make sure she knows that you don’t mean it as a date. Let her know that you just want to see her as your friend. Also sticking to public places will probably make her more comfortable. She may get the wrong idea if you ask her to come watch movies at your house.
There isn’t a concrete rule on how much contact is too much, so it will depend on the situation. Paying attention to her responses will help you see if you’re going too far. If she’s giving you one-word answers, taking a long time to respond, and you’re doing most of the talking, these are indications that she isn’t interested in talking so much. Scale back the amount you contact her. If she comes out and tells you you’re contacting her too much, take this seriously and cut back.
Of course you can talk about these things if she brings them up first. Let her take that first step to show that she’s comfortable talking about more serious topics with you. Until then, don’t push the boundaries or you risk making her uncomfortable.
Don’t insult her significant other or compare yourself to him or her. In fact, it’s really best not to bring up her significant other at all unless she mentions him first. This will keep conversations from getting into inappropriate territory. Sometimes people talk to their friends of the opposite sex less often when they’re in a relationship. You might find this hard to deal with, but it’s common and you have to respect her choices. Don’t harass her if she withdraws from you after getting into a relationship. If you two became very good friends and she stopped talking to you altogether, then you could bring it up to her and say you’re disappointed that your friendship has suffered. If you’re only casual friends, however, let it go. Never make further advances on her when you know she’s in a relationship. While this would be inappropriate after a rejection anyway, it is especially disrespectful to do so when you know she’s in a relationship.
