Understand the personality of a group you are trying to befriend. Figure out what unites them – is it a shared activity (e. g. , debate team, journalism publication, love of performing music) or a harmonious balance of personality traits (talkative, sociable, quiet, etc. )? If you share this unifying quality with the group, then let your interest/personality/whatever it may be shining.
And then when you have their contact information, you both can invite each other to hang out, or even just make random small talk online. The more you talk to each other, the more comfortable you’ll be with each other at school or wherever you naturally meet up.
Go out a lot in order to hang out with different groups. However, do know that being friends with everyone can be very time and energy-intensive because you must be friendly, outgoing, and willing to spend time hanging out, leaving yourself very little time to yourself. Remember, you don’t have to be outgoing in order to be a good person; it’s perfectly fine to be shy and reserved, and you will make your own friends. However, if your goal is to befriend a wide range of people, you will have to put that effort out there.
Remember that each group will be different. They will use different words, find different things funny or respectable, or will have very different ways of “hanging out. " Observe what is appropriate for each group, and act accordingly, but don’t change yourself just to fit in. You are who you are. [3] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
One of the easiest things you can do to make good friends is to smile and just be happy. Make jokes, laugh, and help the group have a good time. Once they realize that you’re a fun person to be around, you all will become friends. [5] X Research source
Even “Man, I love this song!” can get the ice breaking. When the two of you start singing at the top of your lungs, it’s an immediate bonding moment.
Ask people what their plans are for the weekend. If something seems appropriate for you to join, you can express interest in the activity and see if they extend an invitation. If not, you must take a call about whether you should put yourself on the line and explicitly ask to come. Be careful about always tagging along – it can annoy some people. [7] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Being interested in another person is one of the best ways to show someone you like them and make them feel like they matter. Even if they’re just complaining about their mom, support them. Help them laugh about it. Everyone needs a shoulder from time to time, and you could be that shoulder.
Think about your friends. Which ones do you associate with positivity and which with negativity? It probably doesn’t take you too long to come up with your answer. Here’s a heads up: you want to be associated with positivity, and giving compliments is a way to do just that.
This is the main downside to being friends with everyone – they all want a piece of your time. If it starts to burn you out, don’t ignore it. Take some time to yourself and refuel. Your real friends will be patient and there when you’re ready.
A good place to start is by being considerate and helpful. If someone missed a day in class, offer your notes. Do they need a ride somewhere? That’s an opportunity, too. Who knows? When you need a favour, they may pay it back.
Even just being there for them can change their life. Recent studies have shown that having one good friend can not only make you incredibly happier, but it can also lengthen your life. What’s more, one good friend is the equivalent in happiness of $100,000 a year. [11] X Research source You just being there for them is quite the gift.
Be a respectful person so you can respectfully agree to disagree when differences come along. You don’t necessarily have to suppress your views or opinions, but make sure that you’re not expressing them in an offensive or harmful way towards others.
And if your friends are far away from you, you’ll need to put in more work. Studies show, though it’s completely logical, that far-away friendships fall apart more quickly and tend to get replaced by local friendships. So keep up the texting, the Facebooking, and the phone calls. You two can still be there for each other if you need it.
Be a pleasant person, follow the golden rule (treat others the way you would like to be treated), and the friends will come flocking.
If you find yourself having to ask every weekend what someone is up to in order to be a part of a group, switch it up and contact someone else in the group whom you know. Alternatively, invite the person to hang out and see what they say. If your invitation conflicts with existing plans, they may invite you to join them. If your invitation to hang out falls before an existing plan, you too may end up going to the group activity together.
