You might think that your comfort zone protects you from bad feelings, but by staying there, you are letting those unpleasant emotions hold you back. When you step outside of it, you can take control over them.
You can also change your expectations to be more realistic. For example, you expecting that today will be warm is much less likely to disappoint than expecting that today will be exactly 73 degrees Fahrenheit, breezy, and sunny.
It also allows you to pour your energy into work, working out, cleaning your house, etc. , rather than seeking out emotional ties.
Having high-quality friendships is more important than having lots of friends. [3] X Expert Source Adam Dorsay, PsyDLicensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker Expert Interview. 11 April 2019.
If you know what you want, it is harder for others to convince you to do their bidding. This is crucial both to generating your own success and to stop having your time and energy used by someone else. Sometimes guilt and stress can cause you to work against what you desire. Knowing what you want will make you stronger when facing these difficult situations.
You might have to trade some of your time and talent to get another person to do what you need, but set boundaries and do not let the other person use your desires against you.
Be direct. Say “No, I cannot (or will not) do that. ” If you prefer to add an explanation, such as “I don’t have the time to commit,” that is okay, but not necessary. [7] X Research source This can be difficult when are being guilted. Things like charities that you do not support, friends that want your help, and even family that demands too much of your time can be serious hurdles to your success. Say “No. ”
Relationships go two ways. When you are working with other people, make sure you give as much as you take. This will help you build stronger professional and social relationships.
For example, if your co-worker meets you at the snack machine, just cut them off with a quick line like “Can’t talk. I have a deadline. ”
A great way to avoid nearly any event is to say something to the effect of “I’m sorry. I already have other plans. ” You do not have to explain yourself if you decline an invitation. You can simply say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t make it. "
If your friend asks you to house-sit, simply say “I’m sorry. That doesn’t work for me. ” You can offer an explanation if you’d like, but there is no need for excuses.