First, release your breath from your mouth. Next, breathe in through your nose—as you go, count to “4 Mississippi” (1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi…). Now, hold your breath for another 4-second count. Finally, slowly exhale (again, through your mouth) as you count to “4 Mississippi” again.
I can’t control others’ actions, just my own. It’s not my job to hold this person to a certain standard. Part of caring and supporting someone else is accepting them for who they are—and not punishing them for failing to be who I want them to be.
I deserve to feel in control of my emotions. I get to choose how I react to this. I know getting angry will make me feel worse, and I don’t want that. So I’m choosing not to indulge this feeling.
Say your roommate is blaring music. Instead of assuming the worst, think: “Maybe they don’t know that I’m home. I’ll shoot them a text instead of getting angry!” Or, maybe your sister is chewing super loudly—annoying! Take a second to remember: she does a lot for me and doesn’t do it on purpose. The least I can do is cut her some slack!
One helpful way to maintain a healthy perspective is to remind yourself that feelings like this always pass. You’re angry now, but you won’t be forever. So in that way, this feeling might not be as powerful as it seems!
There are some cases, though, where this isn’t as true. If someone is harassing or bullying you or someone else, it’s best to take action.
Try using approachable body language (turn towards the other person and relax your arms). Relax your facial muscles and make eye contact with the person you’re speaking with. If this sounds tough, try practicing in the mirror first. That way, you’ll know how best to keep your composure on the outside, even when you’re annoyed on the inside!
If your in a casual setting, use an excuse: “Oof, I’m feeling a little lightheaded. I’m going to step out for some fresh air. ” Or, if you need to, it’s okay to be honest, too: “I’m going to be honest with you, I’m feeling a little irritated. I’m going to step away, but I’ll talk to you soon. ”
If you’re looking for light exercise, try a nice walk outdoors, a leisurely bike ride, or dancing around your kitchen while you cook dinner. Into more intense workouts? Try strength training, swimming, running, kickboxing, or rowing.
Stick to the daily recommended coffee limit (max 4 cups) and pay attention to how you feel, too. If you feel stressed at just 2 cups, then drink less than that. Limit alcohol use if you’re looking to feel less angry overall. If this feels daunting, start small—cutting down just a little could help, giving you more motivation to drink less.
Spend time doing something that you really love. Dedicating time to your passion is sure to leave you refreshed, whether that means painting, singing, or writing. Pick up a hobby that’s super relaxing. Some people find working with their hands, cleaning, or meditating to be great ways to reset—find yours and make time for it! Try getting out into nature for extra benefits. A simple hike, swim, or stroll through nature can reduce your stress levels overall.
Make sure your environment is suited to sleep. Keep your room cool, dark, and quiet. Don’t use your bed for anything besides sleep—study, watch movies, and read on your couch instead. Practice a nightly sleep routine. Wind yourself down for bed by dropping screens for an hour prior and enjoying a relaxing activity (like listening to music).
If you can’t think of anyone off hand, that’s okay (and totally normal, too). Try reaching out to your local Friendship hotline. Or, stop by a local shop that’s always busy with strangers. Strike up a friendly convo with someone new.
Ask to give your partner a massage. That way, you’ll be showing appreciation while also getting some well-needed touch. Win-win! Do you have a family member who’s been feeling low? Give them a good squeeze. That way, you’ll both feel the hug’s healing benefits. Not sure who to ask? That’s okay! There might probably professional cuddlers in your area—or, people you can hire to help you lower stress through touch.
Seek out funny media that you love, like comedic TV shows, movies, videos, books, podcasts, or magazines. Look for the humor in daily life. When things happen, try to see the silliness in your situation (the coffee shop wrote “Bark” instead of “Clark” on my cup—so funny!). You could even try something a bit off the beaten path—look for “laughing yoga” classes in your area, which help you giggle using breathing exercises!
