Learn to moderate your emotions by using your breath. Start by lengthening your breaths, noticing that you feel more and more relaxed. Breath deeply into your lungs, and feel your stomach rise and fall. Count slowly as you exhale, and feel your body, mind, and emotions relax. [3] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source For more breathing exercises, check out How to Breathe Deeply.
If you find yourself ruminating, take your mind and emotions off of the situation. Exercise, read a book, or call a friend (but don’t talk about what you’re ruminating on!). Use the past to learn and grow from, yet know when to let it go. If reflections in the past causes distress or you find yourself returning over and over to a situation you “messed up”, learn to let it go, knowing you cannot change it. Instead, determine to let the event change your future behavior. Rumination is linked to depression. [5] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Depression can make a difficult past hard to move forward from, and often finds relief through therapy. If you think you may have depression, check out How to Know if You Have Depression and How to Overcome Depression.
For more information, check out How to Control Anxiety.
Try distracting yourself with music or going for a walk. Play with your pet, read a book, or garden.
Using a diary can help you track what methods work well, which situations trigger your emotional reactivity, and how you work through each situation.
If you tend to have lofty ideas and expectations, start modifying how you accomplish them. For instance, you can call in help from other people, or choose a goal that is less lofty, but attainable.
Your thoughts and feelings change constantly and do not define you. [14] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
Your thoughts and feelings change constantly and do not define you. [14] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
If you’re upset that your partner is late, don’t jump to conclusions as to why he may be late. Instead, gently ask what happened without coming across as judgmental or accusing.
For example, if someone is angry and is attacking you, don’t go straight to the defense. Instead, hear the person out, make an effort to understand her thoughts and feelings, ask questions, and calmly reply. [17] X Research source
Instead of blaming someone by saying, “You didn’t show up and you blew me off again; you’re such a jerk,” say, “I felt really hurt and abandoned that you didn’t show this evening, and I felt confused that you didn’t let me know you weren’t coming. ”
Journal each emotion. For instance, write a journal entry for “sadness” and write down all the things that make you feel sad. Do the same thing for “anger,” “joy,” “peace,” “rage,” or any other emotion you want to focus on. [20] X Trustworthy Source University of Rochester Medical Center Leading academic medical center in the U. S. focused on clinical care and research Go to source
If you feel sadness, ask yourself, “What have I lost or what do I perceive I will lose?” When experiencing anger, ask, “Do I feel like my values are being attacked?” or, “ Is there some action I should be taking?” When happy, ask, “What do I feel has been added to my life?”
Ask yourself, “What is this person feeling and experiencing right now?”
For more information, check out How to Do Mindful Meditation.
Find a therapist you feel comfortable talking to and seeing regularly. Your therapist should be someone you can trust and with whom you are comfortable sharing vulnerable or embarrassing things. If you are uncomfortable with your therapist or just don’t feel a connection, it’s okay to see someone else.