If you only become popular by trying to be someone you’re not, then where’s the fun in it? You don’t want to keep up a charade forever, do you? Remember that if you have to completely change who you are to get people to like you, then it probably isn’t worth it.

To be truly nice, you should be polite and have good manners. This means holding doors for people, saying hello to people you know, making room for people walking in the halls, and being friendly even if you’re in a bad mood. This doesn’t mean you have to put on that false cheery persona you can sometimes see from adults; it just means that you should be kind to people, regardless of how popular you think they are. There’s nothing worse than a person who is only nice to popular people or people who he thinks can get him somewhere. If you’re mean to the people “below” you and nice to the people “above” you, then people will be on to you pretty soon.

If someone is being mean to you, making you feel bad about yourself, and just generally putting you down for no reason, you shouldn’t have to take it. Let the person know that his or her actions are unacceptable. [1] X Research source You don’t have to stoop down to a person’s level just because the person is being mean to you. You can tell someone to stop what he or she is doing without calling names or being mean in return. Remember that you’re better than that.

When you’re talking to new people, you should take things easy, talking about your classes, your hobbies, or what music you like. Ask the person a few easy questions to show that you care. You can talk about the serious stuff later, when you get to know each other better.

Ask the person about how his weekend went. Ask people about something new to be shared. Ask about their likes and dislikes. Ask about the person’s extra-curricular activities Compliment something the person is wearing Ask about something the person mentioned last time Find a balance between talking about yourself and the other person

Talking about the things that make you happy will make you a more exciting, engaging person. Give your opinions too. Agreeing with the opposite person and simply nodding to whatever they say will make you look very boring. Try to be a conversation starter and know when to listen and when to answer back to people.

Talk about the class you just came from or were going to. Ask the person about his or her weekend. Talk about anything coming up in school, such as the fall dance or football game, and ask if the person is going. Chat about something in your environment, such as a flyer for the pep rally, or a shirt the person is wearing with the name of your favorite college on it.

Let’s face it. People in high school tend to be judgmental, and are likely to think that someone is mean or rude for no reason. If you smile more, people will be much more likely to think you’re a welcoming, open person.

Your clothes can be a little loose or a little tight, depending on the look you’re going for. But if your pants are obviously the wrong size, you may ask yourself if the statement is worth making. Just a few nice accessories, such as a pair of silver earrings or a nice watch, can help tie your outfit together. Don’t worry about having five or ten completely new outfits. It’s better to own fewer nice items of a higher quality. One really nice pair of jeans can serve you better than three cheap pairs of jeans.

You should come to school fresh and showered. Bring deodorant to gym class and make sure that you’re always as clean as you can be.

It’s easier to make good decisions when you surround yourself with people who have good heads on their shoulders. If you fall prey to bad influences, you’ll be more likely to make bad decisions yourself. If you’re at a party, avoid drinking, jumping off high surfaces, or doing anything else that is ill-advised just to show off. The attention you get for these antics won’t last.

Developing true confidence can take years. You can aim to get yourself there if you work on doing the things you really love and excelling at something, so you feel happier and prouder of yourself throughout your day. You should also make a list of all of the things you love about yourself. Consult it often, especially if you’re feeling down. You can also work to change the things you want to change about yourself. Don’t think that you have to be the way you are; you have control over your destiny. Another way to up your confidence is to spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself. Ditch the friends who are always putting you down.

People who are truly popular don’t bother putting people down, because they’re confident enough in who they are and don’t see the need to be mean.

Remember that, in the scheme of things, while being popular in high school may be fun for a while, when you look back on your high school years, you will regret not studying as hard as you could have much more than not trying harder to be popular.

Making fitness a priority will also lead you to meet more people and to have more friends, whether you’re on a school team, in a rec league, or just taking classes at your local gym.

If you’re always laughing, feeling good, and happy with what you’re doing, you’re more likely to attract friends. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should fake it if you’re having a genuinely crummy day, but that it doesn’t hurt to really enjoy yourself if you have the opportunity. It’s okay to complain if you really want to, but you don’t want to get a reputation for being a negative person.

This doesn’t mean that you should be different just for the sake of being different, but because you truly want to do something different. You don’t want to look like a poser if you’re trying something “alternative” just to get attention.

Trying to make new friends is a great way to put yourself out there and to be more popular. However, you should be on the lookout and know when people aren’t looking to make friends. You don’t want to risk embarrassing yourself by coming on too strong. The same goes for attracting people of the opposite sex. While snagging your crush will make you feel great, you should take things slow and get a sense of the other person’s feelings before you move forward.

Remember that, to be popular, people have to actually know who you are — what better way is there to get your name out there than to get involved in extracurricular activities? Finding the right extracurricular activity for you can also help you find a new passion, explore new hobbies, and maybe even to get inspired to follow a new career path. Find new ways to connect with people.

You may end up finding a new best friend after working on a school project or putting together a lab report with a new classmate. Don’t think that you can only find friends after school hours. People in your classes may also be excited to meet new people, because people don’t always end up in class with people they already know since class assignments are random. If you have a lunch period and don’t have any friends during the same period, try sitting with a new group of people, that way, you can make new friends and get to know them better.

Not only will getting involved in your community make you meet more people, but volunteering and doing something useful will build your confidence, which will make it easier for you to meet new people. It’s a win-win situation.

Part of being popular just means that people know who you are when you walk down the halls. Involving yourself in a diverse range of activities can help you get this done.

If you’re really shy, then you don’t have to put yourself out there in a big, showy way. You can find small ways to make a difference, such as tabling for a club or making an announcement for your sports team in your homeroom.