Try sitting with somebody new at lunch. Say, “Wow, your sandwich looks good,” or, “Can you believe the cafeteria served pizza today?” Relax and act normally when you talk to new people–you don’t want it to seem like you’re trying too hard. Let your new friendships progress slowly and naturally, and don’t force anyone to be your friend if they’re not interested.
Use a cell phone if you have one, but it’s okay if you don’t. Ask your parents if it’s okay to talk to your friends on the landline. If they’re worried about you spending too much time on the phone, say you’ll limit it to just half an hour a day.
Stay safe online. Don’t chat with people you don’t know and never be cruel to someone on social media. If your parents won’t allow you to have a social media account, remember that they’re only looking out for you. Ask them if you can have social media with some limitations, like not following anyone you don’t know. If they say you’re not old enough, ask what age is okay. Maybe it’s only a year or two! In the meantime, focus on making friends in school and in “real life. ”[3] X Research source
If the popular kids won’t accept you still being friends with your old group, really think about if popularity is worth losing a lifelong friendship over. If your old friends are upset that you’re trying to be popular or feel left behind, be honest with them about it. Say, “I’m trying to make new friends and meet new people, but you know that no one could ever replace you. ” Show you mean it by making plans with them or eating lunch with them at least a few times a week.
Listen to the music you love even if it’s not the top 10 hits. Wear clothes that make you feel great even if they’re not from a designer label. Maybe you love to knit or can spend hours reading–embrace those quirky habits! If your new friends pressure you to change your values or who you really are, they’re probably not people you want to be friends with.
Think of realistic ideas, like making school dances more fun or organizing cool assemblies and performances. If the idea of joining student government is too scary, or just not your thing, get involved in other ways! Join a club or sports team to meet new people.
If you love to sing, dance, or act, act in school plays or enter a school talent show. If you love playing sports, join a team. Go for a sport you already love or try a new one to meet a whole new group of people. If you love writing or photography, work for the school newspaper or yearbook, if you have one. If you’re passionate about a particular subject, start a club for it or volunteer to tutor other kids who need help.
Show your spirit by dressing up for school spirit days, cheering on your classmates at sports games, and supporting your friends at talent shows and music performances.
Start a recycling program. If your school already has one, revamp it! Set up a competition between grades or homerooms to see who can recycle the most in a month. Offer a fun prize, like a pizza party, for the winner. Hold a career day. Invite parents, community leaders, or even older brothers and sisters to talk about their jobs as a fun break from class for your classmates. If you get enough speakers, make it a career week! Highlight a different job every day.
Although blowing off homework or failing tests might not seem like a big deal–it might even seem cool!–your friends and classmates will eventually stop respecting you if you act like you don’t care about school.
You can still rock your personal style if your school has uniforms. Accessorize with funky jewelry, shoes, or tights. Wear a bold headband or shiny clips to catch people’s eyes. Be true to your own style. If you feel best in sporty, casual clothes, you don’t need to jump right into wearing dresses every day. Start off by pairing a nice pair of jeans with a cool T-shirt. Mix in a skirt every once in awhile if you want, or just try tops that are a little fancier.
For example, if it seems like all the popular kids are slacking off with their work but you know you need to get good grades, keep at it. If all the other girls start wearing a style of clothes you don’t feel comfortable in, don’t feel like you need to change.
To politely say no to someone offering you drugs, say something like, “No thanks. It’s not really my thing. ” You can also make up an excuse or even a light joke, by saying, “If my parents found out I was drinking, they’d never let me hang out with you again! And they find out everything I do, so it’s just not worth the risk. ”
