Okay, so you probably won’t be cracking up in the middle of a science test. However, you should try to be as upbeat as you can, and to make other people want to be around you because of your positive energy. If you tend to be negative or whiny, people will be less inclined to hang out with you. This doesn’t mean that you should be fake or that you should pretend you’re happy when you’re really not. It does mean that you should work to think positively by pushing out those negative feelings, and to project your best self to the world. Everyone has bad days, and you don’t have to force yourself to be chipper if you’re feeling sad, but you should try to have more good days than bad.
It can be that people always see you walking your cute dog on the weekends. Really, it can be anything positive that makes you stand out more. Start something new. In a time when not many kids are daring to take a risk, starting a club of your own can help you to stand out, to be someone who is different and willing to try new things. This will definitely get you noticed and is a great way to get something going that shows off your own passions and skills.
Also, being really good at something can help you build up your confidence, because you’ll feel like you have more to offer. It’s a win-win situation. If you work on mastering something that is a group effort, such as playing soccer or being in the school play, then this will also be a great way for you to get to know more people and to become more popular that way.
If you’re feeling insecure, it’s perfectly okay. Talk to a friend about it and think about ways that you can improve yourself, from getting better at talking to new people, to succeeding in school. Making an effort is the first step.
Make eye contact when you talk to people Stand tall instead of slouching Have good posture, even when you’re sitting Don’t cross your arms over your chest Look straight ahead when you’re walking, instead of down at the ground Turn toward people when you talk to them, instead of away
Wash your hair every day or every other day, depending on your hair type Brush your teeth every morning Shower daily Brush your hair before school
You can also get some matching accessories, such as necklaces or hats, to go with your look. But you don’t have to overdo it.
You don’t have to be maniacal about it. Don’t seek out people to smile at, but do smile when you look at each other. Smiling a lot will also give you a reputation for being friendly, and people will be more likely to come to you with questions or to ask you to play.
Nobody wants to hang out with a person who is so serious that they are constantly afraid of offending them. If you can laugh at yourself, people will be much more excited to be in your orbit because they won’t feel like they have to watch what they say.
The only time you shouldn’t be friendly is if someone is treating you poorly. You don’t want to be nice to the point where people are taking advantage of you. Plus, think of it this way: you’re only in fifth grade. Contrary to popular belief, the crowd of “popular kids” can change from elementary school to middle school to high school. If you’re nice to everybody, then it’s guaranteed that you’re not alienating someone who will become popular later.
If you’re known for being positive, then people will be more likely to want to spend time with you and to approach you. If people think that all you’ll do when they talk to you is complain, they may steer clear of you.
Though you may think that truly popular people backstab and gossip about each other all the time, truly popular people are so confident in themselves that they don’t need to talk smack about people. Make sure that you don’t fall into temptation and that you stay loyal to your friends. If people start gossiping around you, try to kindly change the subject or remove yourself from the conversation.
You don’t have to be incredibly outgoing to be popular. Unfortunately, people who are shy get a bad reputation for being rude or standoffish. If you’re too shy to strike up a conversation with a new person, you should still try to smile and be friendly when the person approaches you. You shouldn’t be closed off or think that you should avoid certain people because of their social status or reputation. Any person should be worth talking to as long as that person is nice and caring.
Though opening up to people is an important way to be social, make sure that the person has a chance to open up, too. You don’t have to ask too many questions at once. You don’t want the people to feel like they are being interrogated. Just ask enough questions to show that you really do care.
The more activities you get involved in, the more people will get to know who you are, and the more opportunities you’ll have to meet people.
Helping out in your community will also expose you to people of different ages and many different walks of life. This will help you gain popularity and feel proud of who you are.
Don’t be self-conscious if you don’t feel athletic enough to join a sport. Give it a try first and see if you’ve found the best fit. If you don’t like soccer, for example, try baseball. And if you just don’t find it clicking with any sport, try another activity, such as painting or playing guitar, that may be more exciting for you.
Be bold and get to know people in different grades. People in younger grades will look up to you, and people in sixth grade (whether they’re in middle school or your school) can give you some tips on how to survive in the higher grades. Don’t just limit yourself to your school. Be friends with your neighbors, people on your rec teams, or people from other schools. This will help you branch out and be comfortable with a variety of people.
