When do you feel completely at ease? What makes you comfortable? Describe your ideal day. What would it include? What do other people praise in your work or your behavior? What do you do well? Describe a recent disagreement you’ve had with someone or something. How did you differ? How would you change yourself if you could? Why?

At your happiest. For example, if you felt happiest when you were surrounded by supportive friends and family, then healthy relationships would be one of your values. Proud. For example, if you felt proud when you graduate high school, then education might be something you value. Satisfied and fulfilled. For example, you might feel satisfied or fulfilled after a productive day at work, so hark work might be something you value.

Try to stay away from celebrities and stick to looking at people you know in real life. It’s easy to identify superficial things, to say that Brad Pitt is special because he’s so rich and good-looking, but it’s hard to identify or even know the true core of his person. We can only see the public persona, which radiates artificial movie-star prestige, not the real person. Focus on how other people’s characteristics resonate with your own core values and avoid focusing on superficial things. Being special is more about knowing who you are at your core, not from what you think other people are like. Authority doesn’t make someone more special. If someone has power over you, is more successful than you, or is well-known and respected, that doesn’t mean that you need to emulate them.

To figure out you relationship to your masks, try to think of a time that you felt you were being fake, or inauthentic. What were the circumstances? How did it make you feel? Check out your Facebook and Twitter feeds for a good example of digital masks in progress. People want to project images of themselves for others to digest, crafting that image in a particular way. It’s inauthentic, in most cases. You’re not getting the “real” version of someone.

Psychologists will often refer to inner and outer locus of control. Someone with an inner locus of control finds satisfaction from within, looking to satisfy themselves with their work and actions. People with outer locus of control look to others for satisfaction. Which are you? Avoid seeking validation from other people. Your own validation is all that you need to be special.

Keep learning new skills, reading new books, and challenging yourself. You’re never too old, too smart, or too experienced to have your preconceptions shaken. You’re never too special to be wrong.

Author Malcolm Gladwell writes extensively of the 10,000 hour rule in his book “Outliers: The Story of Success,” that people who succeed and display true specialness have worked hard for it. It takes roughly 10,000 hours of committing to a craft, talent, or other ability before you can display any real talent or unique spice. Focus on developing yourself and working, not on making yourself special overnight. The first draft of the first novel you ever tried to write isn’t going to be genius, and that’s ok. Keep working. Keep getting better. [3] X Research source

Focus less on excuses. People who aren’t special spend a lot of time talking about “back in the days” and “what ifs. " Don’t give yourself a chance to have those moments.

Don’t be a “yes” person. If you disagree with someone, voice your dissent. People respect others who speak their mind and are unafraid of looking for the truth. If you’re around people who need their ego inflated by glad-handing sycophants, well, they’re not special. Ditch ’em. Being uncensored doesn’t mean letting every thought that flits through your mind come out of your mouth. Being special doesn’t mean being purposefully strange, cruel, or rude. It just means that you must stop quieting yourself when you should be speaking, acting, or thinking. If it needs saying, say it. If it needs thinking, think it.

If you’re a young person, getting a job can be a big learning experience and a way of helping to develop your empathy skills. try to get an after-school job for a few hours each week and take it seriously. Hang out with people who you actively disagree with on religious, political, or moral grounds. Don’t try to convince people that they’re wrong about something, try to understand them. Open your mind.

In Silicon Valley, Fail-Con is a popular convention that celebrates start-up failures, allowing people to network and form around failed ideas and businesses. Every failure gets you one step closer to a success. Failure is infinitely better than inaction.

Respecting others mean making others feel special as well. Respect others as well and treat them equally as you treat yourself.