Recognize that while a relationship is a two-sided endeavour, your kindness towards your partner will pay off in the long term. Your thoughtfulness, kindness and compassion will make you unforgettable. If the relationship should end up not working out, the chances of your partner considering you “the one that got away” is almost a given. The downside of giving without expecting anything in return is that it can eventually wear on you. You may become disillusioned and feel like you aren’t good enough to be a part of the relationship. Once these feelings start to be constant, it may be time to end the relationship. However, your actions and kindness before ending the relationship will not be forgotten and will still make you “the one that got away. "
If you are aware of a specific subject your partner views as important (for example, classic cars), make the effort to point out and notice that subject to your partner. In the classic car example, if you are on a drive with your partner and notice a classic car, point it out and ask an interesting question about it.
When something positive happens to your partner (e. g. a promotion at work) respond in a positive and constructive manner to the news. Acknowledge the achievement and only add comments that show your support or happiness. Avoid comments that are negative or critical.
Communication with your partner should also include topics that may be difficult to talk about. Not talking to your partner about something that is bothering you (e. g. the fact that your partner is constantly going out with friends instead of being with you) will only end up leading to resentment and anger. Some of this communication may lead to arguments, but that’s okay. You aren’t expected to agree with everything your partner says and does. However, good communication with your partner means that you work out your disagreements respectfully and honestly. It may also mean you may need to make a compromise. This type of communication is vital even if your partner does not contribute. The fact that you are open and honest with your partner means you are being the best partner you can possibly be. If the relationship doesn’t work out your partner will probably remember you as someone who was up front and honest and “the one that got away.
Regardless of whether your partner instigates any new and interesting things in your relationship, you should do this regularly. To make the events even more interesting, relate them to something your partner loves. Should the relationship not work out, your ex-partner is going to remember you as the person who was always coming up with new and interesting things to do and keeping the relationship fun and exciting. This is definitely something that would make you “the one that got away. "
If the relationship should end, your ex-partner is going to look back and realize you were the ONLY person who never attempted to make them change. If that doesn’t make you stand out as “the one who got away,” nothing will!
Don’t make any decisions after a break up until you are calm and rational. Give yourself time to heal before you ‘do’ anything. You most likely want revenge because you feel your trust has been broken, but getting revenge is not going to help to restore any of that trust.
Regardless of what happened, take the time to look at what weaknesses you might have that lead to the breakup. [10] X Expert Source Julia Yacoob, PhDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 July 2021. Whether you discover weaknesses or mistakes, realize that this is your change you learn from them. How can you do things differently in the future? Focus on things you can control and change. Try not to worry about the things out of your control. [11] X Expert Source LeTisha UnderwoodCertified Professional Matchmaker Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.
Write your feelings in a journal. Write specifically about the positive things that have happened because of the breakup. These positive things might be things you learned while in the relationship, or they may be the good reasons why the breakup was necessary. They can also include the positive outcomes that have resulted because of the breakup.
Start up your normal exercise routine again. Get back into the shape you were before the relationship. [14] X Expert Source LeTisha UnderwoodCertified Professional Matchmaker Expert Interview. 14 December 2021. Spend more time working on extra work or home projects, anything you put aside during your relationship because you had no time. Plan and cook healthy meals regularly. Do things that will heal you. [15] X Expert Source Julia Yacoob, PhDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 July 2021. Schedule and attend any missed or delayed appointments such as the dentist or the eye doctor.
Spend your time learning about your new partner. Ask questions, tell funny stories, talk about family or work or school, etc. If you new partner asks about any of your old partners, don’t spend your time complaining about all the bad things you remember. Stick to the interesting stories and basic facts.
