You don’t necessarily need to find friends who are also quiet/reserved, but you should ensure that the people you surround yourself with are understanding of your quiet/reserved tendencies. Seek out people who are understanding and accepting. If you don’t know who in your social circle might be understanding and accepting, try talking to people and getting to know them.
Make time to reflect on your day. If you’re working on being more quiet and introspective, you should have some spare time to reflect on yourself and your day. [3] X Research source Figure out which of your life’s experiences have been the most meaningful or enlightening, and examine why and how those experiences changed you. [4] X Research source When you do talk with others who are close to you, ask them for honest feedback about your behavior and your ideas. Let them know that you want to be more aware of yourself and the way you think and act, and that an outsider’s perspective would be very useful in helping you learn more about yourself. [5] X Research source
Think back to your childhood. What activities did you enjoy doing the most? If you loved drawing/finger painting, perhaps you could take up art. If you loved reading and writing, try taking a writing class. The things that were most meaningful to you at an early age of development are probably still lingering in your mind just below the surface. If you still can’t figure out where your passions lie, think about the things in your life now that spark your curiosity. What excites you in your day-to-day life?[6] X Research source
wearing headphones while walking, taking public transportation, or browsing in a store[8] X Research source avoiding people who seem upset or irritated[9] X Research source avoiding or politely disengaging from small talk with strangers[10] X Research source
Loud, chaotic environments are usually not very conducive to thoughtful and reflective conversations. The noise will most likely force both of you to speak louder and more directly, which may in itself be intimidating for some people. [12] X Research source Some people find that an uncomfortably warm environment is also disruptive to reflective thinking. [13] X Research source Understand where you’re most comfortable, and try to arrange conversations in or around similar environments as much as possible.
Listen carefully to everything the other person is saying. [15] X Research source Decide when to respond and what to say. Keep your responses concise and to a minimum. [16] X Research source Think before you give any response at all. [17] X Research source If you need some time to gather your thoughts before you respond, say something like, “Hmm. I have something to say on the matter, but let me have a moment to think this through. “[18] X Research source
The best questions to ask are open-ended questions. Don’t set up simple yes/no questions. Instead, listen closely to the things the other person says, and ask probing questions that show both an interest in the story and an honest desire to get to know the person better. [20] X Research source Instead of asking yes/no questions like, “Did you like growing up in Florida?” ask open-ended questions that require discussion, such as, “What was it like growing up in Florida? What were your favorite/least-favorite things about living there?”
