Find ways that your partner wants to grow and determine to help each other grow. For instance, you may want to get into a meditation habit while your partner wants to start a Qi Gong practice. Encourage each other to pursue these interests and recommend going to classes or engaging in individual practice. This way you can improve your own personal development while also encouraging your partner’s development.
Reflect on what did not work well in past relationships (or previously in this relationship) and think of ways to approach situations differently. What can you do differently this time around? Take responsibility for creating change in yourself. Become a better communicator, be more romantic, or determine to spend more time with your partner. By showing you care and by being supportive, you can use these opportunities to become a better person. For more information on changing bad habits, check out How to Change Bad Habits and How to Get Rid of Bad Habits.
Avoid growing apart as a result of change; instead, grow together. For instance, if your partner starts a new job, don’t let the long hours get in the way of spending time together. Find new ways to spend quality time together, such as cooking together or reading a book together. Do your part to adapt well to change. It’s not your responsibility how your partner adapts, so keep the focus on what action you can take to adapt to change and be supportive of your partner. When you notice yourself not adapting well or not checking in with your partner, set aside some time to talk. Talk about how to support each other and contribute to the quality of the relationship.
Active listening includes reflecting on what your partner says for accurate understanding. For instance, you can say, “I hear you saying that you’ve had a hard day and are wanting to relax tonight. ”
If you feel hurt by something your partner did, gently bring it up in a way that does not include blame. Say, “It hurt my feelings when you chose to spend time with your friend when we had already made plans together. It made me feel like I was less important to you than your friend. ”
Be empathetic toward your partner and his or her experiences. If your partner has a hard day, ask what things can help. If your partner is complaining about difficulties with parents, listen and be supportive. Show your partner that you care about the emotional experience and want to support it.
Remember that no one is perfect and that you will undoubtedly feel let down at some point in your relationship. Determine to be forgiving to your partner and practice letting go of the negative feelings.
Express how happy you are when you’re with your partner. Let your partner know you enjoy his or her company and that you enjoy sharing experiences together.
For the next 10 days, do one kind thing for your partner each day. This can include packing lunch, folding the laundry, buying a gift, or make your partner dinner. Then, see how you feel and how your relationship changes. For more information, check out How to Be Kind.
Write a letter of gratitude to your partner. Say all of the things you appreciate about your partner. Your partner will feel appreciated and you will also get a boost of happiness.
Take care of your body, and take care of your mental and emotional health. Monitor your negative thoughts about yourself, and engage in healthy thoughts about your body, abilities, and self. For more information, check out How to Love Yourself.
Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Following a schedule can help your body settle into a routine. Also, resist the urge to nap or go to bed early, even if you’re sleepy. Instead, do a light activity like making a phone call or cleaning up dinner. [16] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source If you have a hard time settling down before bed, do some relaxation techniques to help calm your mind and body. Practice breathing exercises or engage in some mindful meditation, deep breathing, or relaxation before falling asleep. For more information, check out How to Sleep Better.
Exercising as a couple can help you commit to regularly exercising and improving your health. Find time to exercise with your partner, go to the gym together, or take a yoga or cycling class together.
