Think about qualities and activities that are fascinating to you. What do you think is interesting, either about yourself or about other people? It is also much easier to converse about topics that you already have some interest in, as opposed to simply acting interested in others’ lives simply to make them happy.

This doesn’t mean that you should completely tailor your conversations for other people. If you’re not interested in what you’re saying, then you’re not going to be as interesting. Strive to be genuine while being interesting.

This might sound paradoxical at first, but it really just means that striving to be yourself is the best way to appear most comfortable. This, in turn, will make others more comfortable around you. Remember that you are a whole and complete person with inherent self-worth. Everybody makes mistakes, but that doesn’t make you less amazing![2] X Expert Source Amy WongLeadership & Transformational Coach Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.

Try volunteering at a nonprofit organization, or learning a new sport or hobby. Pick something that you have very little experience with and go for it!

For example, instead of convincing yourself you need to be more courageous, you might try simply participating in an activity that produces some degree of fear when you think about it. Or, you could try rock climbing if you are afraid of heights, or visit a petting zoo if you are afraid of animals. By pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, you might eventually become more comfortable with participating in activities you or others might find interesting.

Once you get someone talking, you may discover, for example, that this person has expert knowledge of beekeeping, an activity you’ve always wanted to try.

This will also give you a greater sense of what interests you can look like in different parts of the world. Make your next holiday an unusual one. Go to an exotic place and do things you would not normally do. This might include an activity such as backpacking, surfing, climbing a mountain or going on a jungle safari.

For example, if you find out that a person is an expert beekeeper, you could ask, “I’ve always wanted to get into beekeeping. How does a person get started doing that?” You’re allowing the other person to share his expertise with others, something most people are thrilled to do. If you’re talking with someone about her job, you might ask, “Did you always want to be a journalist?” Or you might ask, “Which journalist do you admire most?"[6] X Research source

Everybody has their own fears, memories, and desires, and everybody you meet can indirectly or directly help you learn something. Sometimes it just takes some digging to find what that can be. [8] X Expert Source Amy WongLeadership & Transformational Coach Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.

If you want to be a more interesting person, therefore, but can’t seem to get started on the right path, simply smiling more often and putting yourself in situations that make you laugh can be a great place to start.

Give this person the benefit of the doubt. Say to yourself, “This person is probably having a bad day. " Then say something nice to the person. This might jar him enough to recognize that he’s being rude. You could try exaggerating the insult, which also functions to make a mockery of the insult. If someone says, “I’ve seen lots of people learn to ski more quickly than you,” you might say, “I’ve only just learned how to walk upright, so I guess I’m going at a good pace. “[11] X Research source If you want to become more emotionally resilient, you can try meditating. This can be a good way to build your ability to respond positively to things life throws your way. [12] X Expert Source Amy WongLeadership & Transformational Coach Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.

Ask open-ended questions in the conversation. These types of questions encourage the other person to talk at length, rather than give a yes-or-no answer to your question.

A great story that you’re telling to someone else has certain elements just like books or movies. A great story has compelling characters, relevant details, a conflict, a turning point, and even a surprising ending. Even if the story is short, think about how you can structure the story to be fascinating to the listener.

Active listening also means that you remain attentive to what’s being conveyed without necessarily trying to think forward towards what you want to say next. Next time somebody is trying to tell you a story, try simply letting them speak for as long as they feel compelled to do so, all the while allowing yourself to be affected by what they are saying. Watch for changes in facial expression or tone of voice. Good listening requires paying attention to non-verbal features just as much as what’s said. [17] X Research source People typically like being around others who give them a chance to speak what’s on their mind.

When you are talking with someone, convey your full attention with confident body language. This means that your body faces him or her, and you make eye contact. If you are in a room with a lot of distractions, try your best to focus on this other person.